In a thousand years, there will be no men and women, just wankers, and that's fine by me. (Trainspotting) :)

Steve Martin in Planes, Trains & automoblies

"Those aren't pillows!"

HAHAHA! damn right! It's actually funnier in french than it is in english! That's one of the few movies where the translated version is good.

Okay, here's a cute one for a little known movie called "Pandemonium". It's a parody of horror movies. Carol Cane is playing a young girl who is going away to cheerleading camp, and her mom (Eilene Brennon) is trying to get her to not go. The scene is a take-off from the movie Carrie.

Mom: You can't go away to that camp! Everyone will see your dirty pillows!

Girl: They're not dirty pillows mama, they're BREASTS.

Mom: Not those. Those are titties. THESE are dirty pillows! (and pulls two dirty pillows out of the girl's bag)

Okay, too much set up for a dumbass joke. But it made me chuckle. :laughout:

Well let's not forget

" Cheech: you need to quit doing that coke man, it does somthing to your brain, your not going to have a brain no more man Chong:Man lots of smart people snort coke Cheech: oh yeah lots of people snort coke huh, like who? Chong: like, like Sherlock holmes snorts coke, and he isn't so stupid! "


This one is from Nice Dreams.

Try renting a french version they are as hillarious as slapshot.

" Shit the marde men, c'est du bon stock ca la "

"Suck ! Suck ! Suck !" - SpaceBalls

Ahhh--and don't forget...

"We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses...Hit it!" -- Blues Brothers! :D

and

"Please, can we call it a "tally-wacker, Mrs. Ballbricker. Tallywacker seems less...personal." -- Porkys

Hahahahhahahhaa
Huggs!!
Lady Sharlot :-)

Damn we almost forgot the blues brothers

" We're on a mission from God " ;-)

Nice one LS

The woman with the biggest balls in sci-fi movies :

Ripley : "I just wanted to thank you for what you said"
Black Guy : "You don't want to know me lady, I'm a murderer and a rapist of women"
Ripley : "Really.... I must make you nervous then" (and then she sits facing him to eat her diner)

From Beavis & Butthead do America


Demi Moores character "My husband put you up to this? Whatever he paid you to do me I'll double it."
Butthead - "We're not going to do a guy"
Beavis - "I don't know Butthead, thats a lot of money"

Highlander or Schwartzenegger ?

Leslie Nielson looking up into the skirt of Priscilla Presley
- "Hmmm... Nice beaver"

Prestley:

- "yeah, I just had it stuffed"

from Naked Gun

"Do you feel lucky, punk? "

Dirty Harry!!!!!

"Vous êtes une ostie de folle criss!" - SlapShot

OK I got a good one

" Hummm, Hooo, Huh huh, heu heu ... "

Quest for fire ;-)

Isn't that from "The Gods Must be Crazy"?

This is an easy one

Why do you want to eat brains? To stop the pain. What pain? The pain of being dead!!!!! BRAINS, BRAINS, BRAINS!!!!!

What's the movie ?

It could also come from any porn flick with some dumbass male pornstar who can't read or write ... lollll

Indeed :cool:

Méo: Elvis Wong estie!

Elvis Gratton:

"Elvis Wong, a-é bonne celle-là!

Elvis Wong, un chinois, bin ça c'est l'boutte!

Pourquoi pas hin peau-ollock, hin wopps, hin negg' tant qu'à y êt' ?!

Hin chinois ! Hin aut' qui s'en vient voler nos jobs ! "

Oh, that is easy. Return of the Living Dead.

And while we're on the subject, how about:

"They're coming to get you, Barbara"

- Night of the Living Dead

This is Fucking funny as shit - from Half baked

http://funwavs.com/wavfile.php?quote=5038&sound=68

A Classic:
We got one person on-line, and the workload is enough for like, ten users. I think we got a hacker.


Sounds like my workday! lol

From "The Big Kahuna" (DeVito, Spacey, Facinelli)

-------------------------------------------
Enjoy the powers of beauty of your youth ... well, never mind, you will not understand the powers of beauty of your youth until they faint; but trust me, in twenty years, you'll look back at photos of yourself, calling a way you can't grasp now, how much possibilities layed before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine!

Don't worry about the future; or worry but know that worrying is just as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real trouble in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindsights you at 4PM on some idle tuesday.

Do one things, everyday, that scares you

Don't be wreckless with other people's hearts and don't put up with people who are wreckless with yours

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy: some times you're ahead, some times you're behind: the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself

Remember compliments you receive, and forget the insults. If you succeed doing this, tell me
how...

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you wanna do with your life: the most interesting people I know did not know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lifes,some of the most 40 years old I know STILL don't know

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't; maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't; maybe you'll divorce at forty, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken under your seventy fifth wedding anniversary but whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either: your choices are half chances, so are everybody elses

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can: don't be afraid of it, or of what people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room

Read the directions, and even if you don't follow them, DO NOT read beauty magazines, they will ONLY make you feel ugly

Get to know you parents, you'll never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go, but for a precious few that should hold on

We're caught to bridge a gap between geography and lifestyle, but the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young

Live in NY city once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in northern california once, but eave before it makes you soft

Travel

Don't mess too much with your hair or about the time you're forty, it will look eighty-five. Be carefull who'se advice you buy, be patient with those who supply it; advice is a form of nostalgia: dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth...

...but trust me on the sunscreen!

C d' céfran ça?