Twas the Night Before Christmas...
 

Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the house,
the whole damn family was drunk as a louse.

Grandpa and Grandma were singin' a song,
and the kid was in bed flogging his dong.

Ma home from the cathouse,
and I out of jail,
had just settled down for a good piece of tail.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I jumped off of Ma to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I made a mad dash,
Threw open the window and fell out on my ass.
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
but a rusty old sleigh and a dozen reindeer.

With a little old driver holding his prick,
I knew in a moment that bastard was Nick.

Slower than snails his chargers they came,
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name.
"Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls.
Quick now, damn it or I'll cut off your balls!"

Then up on the roof he stumbled and fell,
and came down the chimney like a bat out of hell.

He staggered and stumbled and went to the door,
He tripped on his cock and fell to the floor.
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Piss on you all! It's a hell of a night!"

Merry Christmas!

<img src="http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/x0/biggrinsanta.gif" width="21" height="24">

Panky

ICQ:51140074

`Twas Da Night Befo` Christmas (ebonics style)


Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood
Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good
The tube socks was hung on the window sill
and we all had smiles up on our grill

Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib
in the back bedroom cuz that's how we live
and moms in her do-rag and me with my nine
had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine

All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by
Bumpin phat beats cuz the system's fly
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas'
Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's--
well anyway

I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this!
She said, Stop frontin just mind yo' bidness
I said, for real doe, come check dis out
We weren't even buggin, no worries, no doubt

Cuz bumpin an thumpin' from around da way
Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh
Da beats was kickin, da ride was phat
I said, Yo red Dawg, you all that!

He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz,
"Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!
To the top of the projects and across the strip mall,
We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"

He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof
and sippin on a 40, he busted a move
I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!"
he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!

But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz
I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."
Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings
a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.

he slid down the fire escape smoove as a cat
and busted the window with a b-ball bat
I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"
he said,"You best get on up out my face!"

His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold
His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old
He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side
Santa broke out da loot and my mouf popped open wide.

A wink of his eye and a shine off his god toof
He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof
He jumped in his hooptie with rims made of chrome
To tap that booty waitin at home

and all I heard as he cruised outta sight
was a loud and hearty.....
"WEEESST SIIIIDE!!!!!!!"

Ummmmm .... yeah ..... thanks Chris :rolleyes: