Men are like...
 

This is all in good fun gentlemen! :p

BANK ACCOUNTS
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

BLENDERS
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

CHOCOLATE BARS
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

COFFEE
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

COMMERCIALS
You can't believe a word they say.

COMPUTERS
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

COOLERS
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

COPIERS
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

CURLING IRONS
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

GOVERNMENT BONDS
They take so long to mature.

HOROSCOPES
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

LAVA LAMPS
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

MASCARA
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

PARKING SPOTS
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left
are either handicapped or extremely small.

POPCORN
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.


:D

Why do mean float?

Because they're scum!

That was a joke I used to tell the drunken goofs I used to have to serve when I waitressed that would get all drunk and tell lame-o women jokes (you know 'em and I am not repeating any of those horrid things). I would usually say that then walk away! LOL I used to make good money waitressing years ago, men loved the abuse (it was a sports bar).

:angel:

MEN ARE LIKE LINOLEUM
If properly laid, you can walk all over 'em for a lifetime!

Keep it coming ladies! :angel:

I'm going to just run for cover I think!!!

I've heard that somewhere before shann...in a bar....when i was drunk...where did you work again??? haha

Don't worry Chris, I'm determinded to find the "women" version of this...

hahaha Luke, I sent out a weekly newsletter! LMFAO All waitresses use the same cut up lines, b/c all drunk guys say the same stupid thing to waitresses!

Not me...I'm a good drunk! :worthy:

That's what they all say! lol Even the nicest cutest guys like you Luke get a little fiesty with some tequila in em! LOL Anyone is a good drunk as long as they don't puke while i'm around!

OH and here is a side note, if you ever want to date a waitress/bartender, even if you get really drunk and obnoxious, tip them well and you still got a chance! LOL

Women are Like...
 

I found it Luke...

WOMEN ARE LIKE

...the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

...computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

...Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

...horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

...parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

...political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

...blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

...country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

I always tip good, that way they remember next time I go in there and I get good drinks. Good tips go a long way.

Chris, did you copy and paste that from the "Women are like..." thread I started? hehehe

I'm sure I found the same page you did... LOL
I should have looked before I posted it! ::-|

http://jokes.h1.ru/man/womlike.htm

Gotta love google.com.