How to pick up a GOLD DIGGER
 

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at
his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table
nearby, all alone.

He calls the waiter over and asks for their most
expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her knowing that if
she accepts it, she is his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly
sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She
looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man. The
note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a
Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7
inches in your pants.

The man after reading this note, sends one
of his own back to her and it read: "Just so you know- I happen
to have a Rolls, BMW and a Mercedes in my garage, plus two million
dollars in the bank: But not even for a woman as beautiful as you
would I cut three inches off my penis!
Just send the bottle back.

sweet ! LOL

HAHAHA!
 

Good stuff right there!

Hahahahahahahaha
 

That is a great joke. That is one of the best jokes I've heard in a while.

Re: Hahahahahahahaha
 

You don't hear many jokes, do you? :D

Re: Re: Hahahahahahahaha
 

Well do you have a better joke? I would like to hear it.

Here's one:

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin.

Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new baptistery. "Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000." :bonk:

Thats a pretty good one.....
 

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace........

It read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."

I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished.

So, today I have finished one bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red, my Prozac, a small box of chocolates and a shot of tequila.

You have no idea how good I feel. :D

I'm betting you don't feel anything anymore, actually. Dead people usually don't. :D

i would think dead people feel better than him

Hey Hungry, if it's true what all these doods are saying, what d'you say about coughing up the 30K (US not Cad...and why not €uros or even better GBP's) and I'll scratch you a personal check and put it in the envelope?!?;)

Ummm, don't quote me on that, I don't know anything about any rumours concerning -=HUNGRYMAN=-. :rolleyes:

I just meant that comment as in if you had that much booze, along with that much Prozac, then you'd be sure to croke. Don't misunderstand me, please. ;)

great one http://www2.gigacash.com/temp/chris/...xxrotflmao.gif

some good jokes in this thread, anyone got anymore?