VEGAS: Schedule / check list / casino tips
 

1. make sure I have enough canadian cigarettes -
2. Fly in remember to book seat to sit at back of plane (*when was the last time you heard of a plane backing up into a mountain!!) -
3. check out new digs wondering how much I am actually going to sleep there and swearing off the wet bar -
4. figure on room safe password other than 1-2-3-4 -
5. head downstairs for a coffee and food hoping to find small grocery store that sells water/snacks to refill wet bar in room -
6. try to find people I know by staring at their chest name tags -
7. avoid others with name tags attacked to small chests -
8. find favorite watering hole, then proceed to water -
9. plan on who I want to drive over the the parties with that wont get too drunk, swear their love for me by the end of the night then throw up, pass out (*then again, if they are passed out I can use their wallet to pay for limo ride) -
10. find weed near local Burger King, if not ask around where Joesho is having lunch -
11. rearrange my hotel room so its comfy -
12. get a good steak, charge it to Mr. Donaldson room 453 -
13. walk around floor to see who survived the 2003 Acacia, VISA scandals -
14. try to remember the name of the guy waving high with his badge turned backwards -
15. hit the parties hoping that the food is good, conversation is pleasant and people are interested in doing business -
16. collect business cards like hockey cards then trade them -
17. admire room washroom wishing I could resdesign my home like that, just how much is italian marble anyways?? -
18. remember "what is suppose to stay in vegas" when I leave -

* always remember ask your boss what are the best parties to hit
**always remember your boss wont be there
***always remember to avoid parties that promise live sex shows
****always remember to get into any picture that JFK fubar is shooting
*****always remember to get invited to dinner, never invite
******always remember to collect gifts for presents to family later
*******always remember to call home
********always remember that if all else fails, you can send in your resume to GE Electric to be a bulb salesman in Vegas
*********always remember that if your going to bet on numbers that are meaningful to you, as this guide as follows

Wife/Husbands Private Parts Size::
Your Own Private Parts Size::
Your day of birth::
How many boobies you have seen since arriving::
How many restraining orders against you::
How many pets do you have::
(*for southerners) How many parents do you have::