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First one

Government Worker's Three Wishes

A bored government employee decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides and takes it home with him. While he's polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes.

"I wish for a ice cold beer right now!" He gets his beer and drinks it.

Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish, "I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside."

Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish, "I wish I'd never have to work ever again."

And, Poof!, he's back in his government office again.