[Rochard]

Three years ago, 2005 or so. I was on my way to SoCal from Phoenix in my Mach 1.

I made this trip a dozen times a year to see family there. I drove at night because traffic is lighter. I had my Ipod, a few packs of smokes, and an over night bag - nothing else. I keep my car clean and don't like clutter. I was relaxed and in no hurry. I was going to have a fun five hour drive.

I got stuck in a patch of traffic outside of Phoenix, bumper to bumper, everyone trying to get around a line of big rigs. This fucking asshole is tailgating me - badly. My windows were tinted limo black (think Phoenix = sun = hot), and I couldn't see who was behind me. I downshift to slow down, he doesn't stop. I tap my breaks, he doesn't stop. I start becoming a dick about it, really slowing down, and he doesn't stop.

When I get up to the final truck and I see the open freeway I sort of just matched the speed of the truck for a bit - Just to piss this fucker off. Then I punched it! Before I know it I'm doing a clean 130mph.

Well, because of my window tint I didn't know it was a MARKED highway patrol car. Opps. And of course he thinks I know he's a cop and that I'm running because I'm guilty of something. He hits his lights and by the time he catches up, there's a second cop car with him.

This is classic.

He walks up to the window, none of this "May I see your driver's license sir" crap. He was all business. "STEP OUT OF THE CAR PLEASE SIR". Oh shit.

The shut down the freeway, did a full felony stop, and threw me into the back of his car. Now there is four cop cars. They come back to ask me some questions.

"Do you have any weapons in the car?" I've never owned a weapon of any type.
"Do you have any drugs in the car?" Please - I'm so anti drug it's not funny.
"Can we search the car?" Knock yourself out.

An hour later they've searched my car with dogs and found notta. I was clean as a whistle. They could have arrested me - I believe anything over 100mph in AZ is a felony - but instead they let me go with a stiff ticket, driving over 100mph.

But that's not where the story ends.

So a month later or so I go to court. I've never been to court before, but I was pretty sure there was a dress code and some rules. I left my cell phone behind in my car, and I wore a suit - No shit. I was the only one not in shorts, and one guy was kicked out of the courtroom for answering his cell phone while court was in session.

This is out in the desert in the middle of no where; High speeds are common there so there was a a lot ticket similar to mine. This was the court session where you plead guilty or not guilty - not whine bitch moan and try to offer up excuses. The judge asks how you plead and there is only one of two proper answers you can give. But of course everyone tried to get their story out and the judge just bitch slapped them. I saw people crying to the judge, offering up all kinds of stories, etc etc. I saw fines in the thousands of dollars, and lots of points on people's licenses.

So I get called up after a few hours, I walk up to the judge, and he asks how do you plead? Guilty your Honor.

The judge looked me stupid as if he was waiting for me to give some sob story. He asks "Anything else you like to add".

"No sir. I was speeding, and I'm pretty confident I was doing well over 100mph at the time when I was pulled over".

The judge looks me up and down, smiles, and says "Your ticket has been reduced to speeding at 85 mph. Fine set at $185. Have a nice day".

I'm so glad I'm Irish really.

That was my second ticket speeding at over 100mph. The first one was in 1995 - with my future wife in the car - and I got hit with a $800 fine then.