I will help poor unseductive guys like you become pantie-raiders, and get into hard to reach beds like the one owned by the luscious lady depicted in the picture at the right. To do this, I will teach you several new, innovative and original techniques to approach a woman in a bar and to go home with her at the end of the evening.
The Fisherman :
This one is quite easy and straightforward. All you need is a good aim and some muscles. First of all, go get a hook in a fisherman's store. Any kind will do, but don't take one with feathers and shit over it so it looks like a fly, the ladies will get scared. Then when you get in the bar, get a beer or two and find a valuable target. Then make eye contact. If everything goes well, she should be looking at you once in a while and smile or giggle with her friends. Now comes the hard part, take the hook from your pockets without opening your hand, then go and place it next to her on the table, make sure she sees it. But don't say anything, and go back to your seat. Now, she is probably looking at you with an interrogative look, take yours hand and place them as if you were holding a fishing rod and move them as if she was a fish you were hunting. If you did everything right she should be taking the hook in her hand and come sit on your lap and french kiss you.
The Subtle One :
This one is rather easy. Just spot a nice seductive lady in the bar and again make eye contact with her. Once this is done, sit in a sexy provocative way, you know with your legs open or something. Now blink at her really often, at least once every 10 seconds. But not too fast, or else she will think that you have a nervous problem. Now while blinking, open your mouth slightly and caress the right side of your upper lip with the tip of your tongue. Make sure she notices though, showing more is better than showing less. Now place your hand as if it was a gun, and do as if you were shooting at her. Each time you shoot, make sure you blow air at the tip of your fingers to make them cool again. If she is intelligent she will understand that you are a lusty cow-boy looking for a ride for the night.
The Bad Driver :
This one requires more preparation, because you need to find something special. Get your tools and walk around in your neighbourhood until you find a street sign saying "Slippery when wet". Use your tools to remove it while no one is watching (because it's illegal to steal you moron). Then hide it under your jacket and get in the bar. Then as before, take a beer or two or three and find the lady of your dreams. Now walk to her and ask her to hold something for you. Hand her the street sign and walk away. Now when you are far enough, just walk towards her as if you were riding a car and slipping in every direction and go bump into her, and then tell her something like "Hey I'm sorry babe, it seems that it's slippery and wet around here.". Easy isn't it ?
The Cute Foreigner :
Well this one is quite stupid. Just pretend you are from another country and don't speak well the lady's language. It works all the time. Look for your words, when you can't find them swear a little in another language. Make sure you try to have a foreign accent though, if you search for your words without an accent she will only think that you are a fucking retard.
The Funny One :
Be funny, every girl likes funny men.
Well I think that's enough for today. With all those new weapons I just gave you, no lady will escape you. Good hunt !
Oh, and as one last tip, you have to leave your computer for it to work...