I'm exceptionally blunt and my wife constantly tried to tell me to tone it down. When dealing with associates, friends or whatever else, I say too fucking bad. Like me or hate me, you WILL respect me. I don't demand respect, I command respect.
When dealing with my staff however, things are different. There is NO one answer to this question.
I'll use hockey coaches as a comparison.
First you have Mike Keenan. Straight shooter. Sometimes berating. Garners both alot of respect and hatred. His motto-Work hard or you won't work for me.
Next you have Roger Neilson. Players coach. Loved by virtually everyone who plays for him. I'm not in the dressing room, so I can only assume that he caudles his players. His motto-Work hard and I'll praise you, don't work hard and I'll tell you what you're doing wrong.
The problem with both of these is that not everyone is the same.
When I managed a retail store a few years back I treated my staff differently based upon themselves. Each and every individual is motivated in different ways, by different things.
If you come down on one person, they'll whine and pout and inevitably become a bad employee. Praise that same person for something they DID do well, and they'll try harder in the other aspects of their job.
If you praise the wrong person for something they DID do well, they'll assume they're the be all-end all and start to slack off. Come down on that same person and they'll look at themselves in the mirror and see that their was a reason for the discussion and they'll correct themselves and work harder.
Either one of those employees is acceptable because there IS a way to motivate them. If you find an employee that is motivated by NEITHER of those approaches, they found themselves unemployed.
Also, I hated staff meetings. They are an utter waste of time unless it's strictly for spitballing purposes. They either turn into a verbal slugfest with the most vocal employees taking the lead or a love fest in which absolutely NOTHING is accomplished. The people that have the most to say, probably won't say anything in that enviroment.
I instead made a point of speaking with each employee monthly to evaluate them and have them evaluate me. Given an open line of communication usually illicits a good work enviroment, thus everyone's happier. If there is an internal problem somewhere, you will see a pattern develop throughout these conversations. i.e. Everyone complains about the same person or the same thing.
Then you take that person aside and discuss the problem with them. NOT in a meeting where an ambush is waiting for them.
Just my 2 cents. Or 4.
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