You Might Be a High-Tech Redneck If...
If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com."
If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."
If the sticker on your computer says, "My other computer is a laptop."
If your laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."
If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
If your wife said either she or the computer "had to go," and you still don't miss her.
If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster for your beer.
If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."
If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.
If you start all your e-mails with the words: "Howdy y'all!"
You've ever brought your laptop to a Tractor Pull.
When your friends comment on your "nice boots" and you say "Yea, thanks. Its my spiffy, new Phoenix BIOS."
When you're honked off at your computer warranty because it doesn't cover damage from "Bovine Saliva."
When your computer toolkit contains a pitch fork.
When your MS-DOS boot menu contains an entry called, "Cow Tipping Configuration."
If you've ever been to "http://www.hee-haw.com."
When your wife catches you again with your "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.
When you order your new pick-up truck with a gunrack and PCMCIA sockets.
When, in a pinch, you use your laptop battery to jump-start the Combine.
When you have 17 different versions of DOOM, but you still can't write your name.
If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone with modem and fax option.
If you know that NORTON UTILITY isn't a power company.
