[Rochard]

I promised sears I would tell this story every night until the lawsuit settled.

I had my van down in Savannah Georgia. I forgot to tell you I had this big two story custom van back when I was married. I forgot to tell you this – It was kind of cool; It had this James Bond thing in the back where you push a button and the couch in the back turned in bed. I thought to myself “I finally have something over those Mercedes Benz driving in laws of mine. When I first got it I brought it over to my brother in law’s house to show it off because he’s such a prick. He takes one look at my van and goes “I can’t believe you didn’t buy a Mercedes Benz”.

“They don’t make a van…..”

“Ron, I don’t think you fully understand the intricacies of Mercedes Benz engineering. Why, I have the three inch wiper blades that keep my headlights clean in a rain storm”.

“I’ve got a place to fuck your sister!”

Anyway, I had the van down in Savannah Georgia and I didn’t like the way the tires were wearing on it so I took the van to Sears Automotive, a trusted name in automotive service. Takes them three and a half hours to change four tires. Turns out they had to whittle one out of a piece of wheat.

I spend $500 of my hard earned money – I take a right hand turn out of the mall, the left hand wheel falls off – FALLS OFF – FALLS THE FUCK OFF.

Turning my van into a tripod, spinning me into a dimension of pissed off I have never been in before in my life.

This guy was a tire guy – That’s all he did. He didn’t some days work on transmissions, he was a tire guy. Sears, I found out later, sent him to tire college for three days.

Turns out he was sick on lug nut day!

But they still let him work on my van.

So I’m sueing them and I hope that they have to change the name of Sears Tower to RON WHITE’S BIG OLD BUILDING!