If you are with someone and 'love' that person - do you still date others?

Visualad · 08-22-2007, 11:54 AM

I think alot of people miss out on meeting someone thats better for them simply because they dont date while being together with someone.

On the other hand, I do like and RESPECT the faith and trust put into a relationship if they dont date others while being together with a person.

Just been meeting alot of people recently where I think they would be better off without the one they are currently "in love" with or together with..

Thought I would pop this question to the fine folks over here at the X...

So what about you? You date while being with someone or not?

Panky · 08-22-2007, 12:37 PM

I don't. I'm loyal to the one I'm with. If it is in the very beginning and it is just the dating phase and there is no commitment on either end, that is different. But, if it is a committed relationship, I won't date others. I have very good instincts and have learned to trust them over the years. If something isn't right and it can't be worked out, I move on.

Sure, there are people that I'd fuck in a heartbeat, but I just can't go there. If I knew that 'playing the field' was an acceptable part of my relationship, that is one thing. But, if 'playing the field' is not an acceptable part of the relationship, then I respect that.

Visualad · 08-22-2007, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Panky

I don't. I'm loyal to the one I'm with. If it is in the very beginning and it is just the dating phase and there is no commitment on either end, that is different. But, if it is a committed relationship, I won't date others. I have very good instincts and have learned to trust them over the years. If something isn't right and it can't be worked out, I move on.

Sure, there are people that I'd fuck in a heartbeat, but I just can't go there. If I knew that 'playing the field' was an acceptable part of my relationship, that is one thing. But, if 'playing the field' is not an acceptable part of the relationship, then I respect that.

so if you are in love with someone - and happen to meet ANOTHER person that simply just feels "RIGHT", that you get blown away by and that makes your whole mind and body scream "This is the one!" - you still wouldnt date that new person?

Panky · 08-22-2007, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Visualad

so if you are in love with someone - and happen to meet ANOTHER person that simply just feels "RIGHT", that you get blown away by and that makes your whole mind and body scream "This is the one!" - you still wouldnt date that new person?

Nope. I'm loyal to the one I'm with. When I decide to move on, others are fair game. Other than that, I'm not going to hurt someone else by crossing the line(s) we have determined appropriate for our relationship.

It boils down to the fact that I have good instincts and I've learned to trust them. Temptation will always be there. There's nothing wrong with it. It is how one chooses to deal with the temptations that can either strengthen someone and a relationship or weaken someone and their relationship with another.

TheLegacy · 08-22-2007, 01:19 PM

This question has the same flavor when your kids walk in and say, "which one of us is your favorite?". There is no right or wrong answer and when do finally do give one, you pray that the other kid didn't hear it.

No set rule is laid out, and I am noticing as times change, that also includes love and marriages. What once was off limits, now you find couples are more open to experiencing their sexual desires within a loving relationship. I cannot speak nor judge anyone who wishes do express their passions this way. I am still old school but am trying desparately to keep an open mind to the trends that are today.

What the best I can say is this - if you can wake up and look at yourself in the morning at the mirror and still like the person you see staring back, then your safe. The inner voice should tell you what your comfortable with.

ScreaM · 08-22-2007, 03:45 PM

No I don't. In fact, I don't even look at other attractive women twice.

Funbrunette · 08-22-2007, 04:31 PM

Peter!!!!!

Are you cheating on me?????

Cyndalie · 08-22-2007, 05:19 PM

I think once you start sleeping with someone the option to date others is over. Actually, it may be when dating stops and the relationship begins.

Visualad · 08-22-2007, 05:37 PM

I dont mean a simple.. affair or fling per se.. Nor do I mean simple fucking around.

I mean.. lets say you really feel that you are in love with someone. Then you meet another person that you feel that VERY special "connection" to.. A feeling that is greater than whatever you are feeling towards your existing partner..

Would´nt you owe it to yourself to find out if what you are currently involved in - maybe is not "the one"? Maybe everything you are looking for in a partner - and true happiness is with the other person? And maybe you would miss out on that if you did not give it a chance..

I guess Im saying that sometimes.. Just sometimes..

The grass might just be ALOT greener on the other side.. ;-)

Virgule3 · 08-23-2007, 01:43 AM

That's an excellent question...

If you have read another of my posts, I was seeing this great guy but he has things to sort out and yesterday, he actually told me he has very strong feelings for me but they scare him, and he doesn't feel ready to have a relationship with anyone even though he find me attractive, inteligent, bla bla bla... But even if he likes being with me, he has too many things on his mind and wants to be alone for a while.

With that said, I don't plan on actually look for anyone else. I want to wait a while, see if he comes to his senses, and realize he can't live without me (I'm so irrisistible! ;o) ) I feel he is worth waiting for, but at the same time, if something happens, well, it happens.

Sophie.

sassygirl · 08-23-2007, 08:32 AM

No i dont....i'd stick to the one i am with.

TheEnforcer · 08-23-2007, 12:10 PM

All depends on the situation. I'm certainly not gonna start seing someone exsclusively right away so for a good bit of time there I'll see more than one woman at a time but i'm completely up front about it. It's gonna take a while before I'll say hey I wanna date this person only and see where it goes. When I do though then that is the only woman I'll date, it just takes quite a while to get to that point.