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02-02-2003, 03:18 PM
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#1
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StuartD
should edit this
Sofa King Band
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Outside the box
Posts: 1,053
xBucks: 9,494
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Post your best/worst pick up lines....
This is one I made up for a contest... it was a contest for WORST pick up line.
"I could be your knight in shining armor, but first I need my helmet washed" ![Big Grin](images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
__________________
"If you are not going to heaven, why miss it by an inch?" - Sam Kinison
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02-02-2003, 04:17 PM
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#2
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zoe_zoebaboe
should edit this
Edit
Guest
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The worst pick up line someone has given me was horrible.
I was at a goth club and this guy walks right up up me, whips out his penis and says "Does this look infected to you?"
I walked away.
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02-02-2003, 06:15 PM
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#3
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Funbrunette
is Travelling the
world!
CORRUPTED ADMIN!!!!!
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 8,933
xBucks: 265,090
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Quote:
Originally posted by zoe_zoebaboe
The worst pick up line someone has given me was horrible.
I was at a goth club and this guy walks right up up me, whips out his penis and says "Does this look infected to you?"
I walked away.
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OMG!!!! That's just wrong...LMAO!!!!! ![Bonk](images/smilies/bonk.gif)
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02-02-2003, 06:35 PM
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#4
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Vid Vicious
is makin porn
Porn lifer
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,514
xBucks: 59,405
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Quote:
Originally posted by zoe_zoebaboe
The worst pick up line someone has given me was horrible.
I was at a goth club and this guy walks right up up me, whips out his penis and says "Does this look infected to you?"
I walked away.
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hee hee .. why didn't it work? ![Confused](images/smilies/confused.gif)
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02-02-2003, 09:10 PM
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#5
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StuartD
should edit this
Sofa King Band
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Outside the box
Posts: 1,053
xBucks: 9,494
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I once told a girl that I thought my tongue tasted funny and wanted her to taste and see what she thought.
She laughed. ![Roll Eyes (Sarcastic)](images/smilies/rolleyes.gif)
__________________
"If you are not going to heaven, why miss it by an inch?" - Sam Kinison
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02-02-2003, 09:57 PM
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#6
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zoe_zoebaboe
should edit this
Edit
Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Funbrunette
OMG!!!! That's just wrong...LMAO!!!!!
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Yeah, he was serious also.
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02-02-2003, 10:01 PM
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#7
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Easton
is a content producer
Royal Vault
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 653
xBucks: 8,966
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1) "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
2) try saying this to a girl (a buddy actually tried this in university):
"how about we go for some pizza and a fuck?"
then when she slaps you, reply: "what? you don't like pizza?"
LOL ![Stick Out Tongue](images/smilies/tongue.gif)
__________________
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02-02-2003, 10:01 PM
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#8
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zoe_zoebaboe
should edit this
Edit
Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vid Vicious
hee hee .. why didn't it work?
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You just try to hit on me by showing me your genitals and see what happens...
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02-03-2003, 11:03 AM
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#9
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firehorse
should edit this
Kitty's love slave :)
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 506
xBucks: 4,204
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The best pick up line is simply being yourself and that is the one that has always worked for me.
Two I think are funny are:
"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"
and
"I believe you are what you eat and by this time tommorrow I plan to be you." ![Bonk](images/smilies/bonk.gif)
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02-03-2003, 11:39 AM
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#10
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Cyndalie
is not it.
Marketing Director / SEO
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 2,334
xBucks: 68,942
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Oh Oh! I get to post my favorite!!!
"There's a party in my panties, do you wanna come?""
LOL No man can resist! ![Big Grin](images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
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02-03-2003, 11:55 AM
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#11
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LadySharlot
should edit this
xcitable
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 171
xBucks: 384
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Hahahha--the best Pickup lines I've heard are:
1) "Hi!"
2) "I'm Rich"
The worst I've heard...?? Well, I can't beat what Zoe said... Hahahhahaha
Huggs!!
Lady Sharlot :-)
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02-03-2003, 12:42 PM
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#12
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wsjb78
should edit this
Local Shadow Agent #1
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Home
Posts: 1,061
xBucks: 14,682
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Quote:
Originally posted by LadySharlot
"I'm Rich"
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That sounds somewhat superficial... but it seems to work...
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02-03-2003, 06:51 PM
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#13
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StuartD
should edit this
Sofa King Band
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Outside the box
Posts: 1,053
xBucks: 9,494
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cyndalie
Oh Oh! I get to post my favorite!!!
"There's a party in my panties, do you wanna come?""
LOL No man can resist!
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mmm... ok, I couldn't resist that... infact, I might just splooge right there in my pants!!
How many times have you used that line? ![Wink](images/smilies/wink.gif)
__________________
"If you are not going to heaven, why miss it by an inch?" - Sam Kinison
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02-03-2003, 07:07 PM
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#14
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modF
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: nj <-- don't laugh!
Posts: 379
xBucks: 825
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cyndalie
Oh Oh! I get to post my favorite!!!
"There's a party in my panties, do you wanna come?""
LOL No man can resist!
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Don't you usually have the guys full attention at "There's" ![Smilie](images/smilies/smile.gif)
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02-03-2003, 08:08 PM
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#15
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Jeff N
should edit this
Citizen X
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 26
xBucks: 234
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I used to be a bartender back in my college days. Here are two corny lines that I know that guys have actually used.
1) "Do you believe in love at first site of do I need to walk by again"
2) "you must be tired because you have been running through my mind ever since I saw you"
Firehorse.. too funny.. "I believe you are what you eat and by this time tommorrow I plan to be you." good one....
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02-04-2003, 08:42 AM
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#16
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Horg
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Montréal
Posts: 316
xBucks: 1,726
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![](http://www.generalfailure.com/news/130501.jpg)
I will help poor unseductive guys like you become pantie-raiders, and get into hard to reach beds like the one owned by the luscious lady depicted in the picture at the right. To do this, I will teach you several new, innovative and original techniques to approach a woman in a bar and to go home with her at the end of the evening.
The Fisherman :
This one is quite easy and straightforward. All you need is a good aim and some muscles. First of all, go get a hook in a fisherman's store. Any kind will do, but don't take one with feathers and shit over it so it looks like a fly, the ladies will get scared. Then when you get in the bar, get a beer or two and find a valuable target. Then make eye contact. If everything goes well, she should be looking at you once in a while and smile or giggle with her friends. Now comes the hard part, take the hook from your pockets without opening your hand, then go and place it next to her on the table, make sure she sees it. But don't say anything, and go back to your seat. Now, she is probably looking at you with an interrogative look, take yours hand and place them as if you were holding a fishing rod and move them as if she was a fish you were hunting. If you did everything right she should be taking the hook in her hand and come sit on your lap and french kiss you.
The Subtle One :
This one is rather easy. Just spot a nice seductive lady in the bar and again make eye contact with her. Once this is done, sit in a sexy provocative way, you know with your legs open or something. Now blink at her really often, at least once every 10 seconds. But not too fast, or else she will think that you have a nervous problem. Now while blinking, open your mouth slightly and caress the right side of your upper lip with the tip of your tongue. Make sure she notices though, showing more is better than showing less. Now place your hand as if it was a gun, and do as if you were shooting at her. Each time you shoot, make sure you blow air at the tip of your fingers to make them cool again. If she is intelligent she will understand that you are a lusty cow-boy looking for a ride for the night.
The Bad Driver :
This one requires more preparation, because you need to find something special. Get your tools and walk around in your neighbourhood until you find a street sign saying "Slippery when wet". Use your tools to remove it while no one is watching (because it's illegal to steal you moron). Then hide it under your jacket and get in the bar. Then as before, take a beer or two or three and find the lady of your dreams. Now walk to her and ask her to hold something for you. Hand her the street sign and walk away. Now when you are far enough, just walk towards her as if you were riding a car and slipping in every direction and go bump into her, and then tell her something like "Hey I'm sorry babe, it seems that it's slippery and wet around here.". Easy isn't it ?
The Cute Foreigner :
Well this one is quite stupid. Just pretend you are from another country and don't speak well the lady's language. It works all the time. Look for your words, when you can't find them swear a little in another language. Make sure you try to have a foreign accent though, if you search for your words without an accent she will only think that you are a fucking retard.
The Funny One :
Be funny, every girl likes funny men.
Well I think that's enough for today. With all those new weapons I just gave you, no lady will escape you. Good hunt !
Oh, and as one last tip, you have to leave your computer for it to work...
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02-04-2003, 08:44 AM
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#17
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Horg
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Montréal
Posts: 316
xBucks: 1,726
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(That's something I wrote about 2 years ago for my site http://www.generalfailure.com )
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02-04-2003, 10:25 AM
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#18
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wsjb78
should edit this
Local Shadow Agent #1
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Home
Posts: 1,061
xBucks: 14,682
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Quote:
Originally posted by Horg
The Cute Foreigner :
Well this one is quite stupid. Just pretend you are from another country and don't speak well the lady's language. It works all the time. Look for your words, when you can't find them swear a little in another language. Make sure you try to have a foreign accent though, if you search for your words without an accent she will only think that you are a fucking retard.
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That works in the US? Wouldn't be hard for me to do so!
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02-04-2003, 10:34 AM
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#19
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Horg
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Montréal
Posts: 316
xBucks: 1,726
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Quote:
Originally posted by wsjb78
That works in the US? Wouldn't be hard for me to do so!
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Well in fact I don't know, I made them all up, and I'm no Don Juan. These are just the best ideas I've got, somebody should try them out and tell us if it works or not.
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02-04-2003, 11:29 AM
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#20
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Kenny B
is I love black people
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 879
xBucks: 16,084
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I've alwayse liked:
Can I buy you a drink or would you just like the $$$
__________________
kenny - at -kennyspennies.com
icq: 53962376
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02-04-2003, 09:30 PM
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#21
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Raph
should edit this
Xcetera
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Montreal, QC
Posts: 34
xBucks: 301
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"Wanna fuck?"
__________________
Raph
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02-05-2003, 01:31 AM
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#22
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Raya
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Boston, MA USA
Posts: 267
xBucks: 890
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Horg those are so funny!
When I was very young and silly (18 and 19) my girlfriends and I would all go out on Thursdays and Fridays we would hit (well they would I am very shy) on any cute guy they could and some they shouldn't have.
Once we took turns going up to a guy and saying one of the other girls in our group thought he was cute sometimes it worked hand we would bring him back sometimes the girl would be lost he would pick her up that often caused a problem if another girl in the party liked him. (Sigh sometimes there were cat fights in the bathroom.)
One time I was being really clever and brave and went up to this really cute guy. I started talking to him and flirting. Everything was fine until I told him he sort of reminded me of someone I had known long ago...We talking some more and then I discovered that he had been my fifth grade teacher. It was very disturbing. It really wigged him out by the time we figured it out he was rubbing my back and asking me to dance. ![Stick Out Tongue](images/smilies/tongue.gif) I didn't get a date and he looked a little green when I left. Naturally my girlfriends thought it was hysterical.
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02-05-2003, 11:33 AM
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#23
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Funbrunette
is Travelling the
world!
CORRUPTED ADMIN!!!!!
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 8,933
xBucks: 265,090
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LMAO!!!! ![Bonk](images/smilies/bonk.gif)
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02-05-2003, 11:34 AM
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#24
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Funbrunette
is Travelling the
world!
CORRUPTED ADMIN!!!!!
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 8,933
xBucks: 265,090
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FROMAGE!!!
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02-05-2003, 12:29 PM
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#25
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Cathedra
should edit this
Back in the Biz
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 110
xBucks: 2,503
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I dunno..one guy in Vegas crossed me in a steamy hallway in between two parties and said.. Hey Cathedra, I'm stuartD. I thought it was pretty classy... ![Blush](images/smilies/blush.gif)
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02-05-2003, 01:20 PM
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#26
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Phoenix
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Toronto
Posts: 236
xBucks: 588
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I've heard some doosies in my time...one that worked for me this summer was, "hey want to come over here with me?" to explain-over here was around the corner of the house which was in total darkness as we were at a house party on a farm, it seemed to work great
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02-05-2003, 03:09 PM
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#27
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StuartD
should edit this
Sofa King Band
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Outside the box
Posts: 1,053
xBucks: 9,494
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cathedra
I dunno..one guy in Vegas crossed me in a steamy hallway in between two parties and said.. Hey Cathedra, I'm stuartD. I thought it was pretty classy...
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Really?? What kind of putz would say something as cheesy as that?
![Big Grin](images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
__________________
"If you are not going to heaven, why miss it by an inch?" - Sam Kinison
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02-05-2003, 03:12 PM
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#28
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XxXotic
should edit this
Jesus Saves!
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: yo panties!
Posts: 395
xBucks: 2,646
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02-06-2003, 02:34 AM
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#29
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Reverendpoon
should edit this
Citizen X
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Spokane, Wa.
Posts: 20
xBucks: 70
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man: Do you have a map?
woman: why?
man: because I just got lost in your eyes.
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Find salvation with Reverend Poon!
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