Dealing with depression

[Cyndalie]

How do you deal with it?
Do you do anything to try to pull yoursel out of a funk or just let it run it's course?

[Funbrunette]

Originally Posted by Cyndalie

How do you deal with it?
Do you do anything to try to pull yoursel out of a funk or just let it run it's course?

You feeling ok Cyn? Personally I think it's the time of year (November is a difficult month)

There's a few things you can do, but if it's a true depression it's always a good idea to see a doctor, I'm not a big advocate for pills, but after I had Ryan I had a BAD case of post partum and anti-depressants helped me greatly.

Do something you enjoy, pamper yourself go out with friends and don't be afraid to sleep. I spent the last month of my pregnancy in bed.

Hope you feel better, must be something in the air because I feel like shit too this week!

[Virgule3]

I used to be depressed all the time, I slept all the time, felt like I didn't deserve anything good, I was negative about everything.

Then, my dad forced me to go see a doctor. They finally found out that I have a chemical imbalance and that I will have to take anti-depressants for the rest of my life.

Since then, things have turned around... even though I gained 60 lbs because of the meds, I have never been more confident and happy. I also started to make positivism exercises.

Instead of focusing on my big belly and butt, I look at my gorgeous eyes and my communicative smile! And I tell myself that because I am overweight, I have the most awesome boobs now! Big and firm! So it's not all bad!

I am so happy that I am very intelligent and I focus on that too so when I do something stupid, I blame it on the fact that I have to make mistakes because I am blonde after all...

I know many many people who hate winter... Me, I love it! I have an awesome winter suit that is warm and comfortable, and I practice activities that I enjoy so I always look forward to the cold days!

Do you see where I'm getting at?

At the beginning, it was not always easy, but everytime I had a negative thought about something, I kicked myself in the butt and tried to come up with something positive to counteract and now, I am the most positive person on the planet!

I also often compare myself to people who don't have it as good as me and I realize that I have nothing to be depressed about... Yes, I'd LOOOVE to be in love, I'd love to have children, my life isn't perfect, but I have a very very beautiful home, a great job, a fantastic job, great friends, etc... So I focus on that... If I had children, I wouldn't be as free as I am right now... If I wasn't single, I wouldn't be able to play as much as I do... I always find the positive side to every situation...


That's how...

Are you feeling depressed?

Sophie.

[TheLegacy]

Depression can also be chemical as much as psychological, yet for a new mom this is normal if your going through it now. The new baby is taking alot of your energy and vitamins as it is growing inside you. What is important is keeping yourself active and working hard on being positive since that will reflect in the baby.

Don't forget the importance of taking some time out for you. Try even to make a fondu date night - get a movie and snuggle up. Whatever is bothering you can wait until morning, but you need to sleep - stay positive and get as much strength up for the birth as you can. There is no harm in calling in favors to help out, but as I said in an earlier conversation - your partner needs to step up and help out more. I cooked dinners, cleaned and took on more responsibilities to help SheDevil along so that she didn't feel overwhelmed. Even if you have to lay back and listen to your favorite music do so - in the end - it will pass. Trust me - it will.

[Cyndalie]

Just feeing a bit down and out is all.

I have never felt so unattractive in my life. My love life is gone - its like he isn't even slightly interested in sex or affection, I got really bummed out last night being so clumsy (knocked shit over and made a mess) and feeling like a fat slob, it's awful. Nothing fits right. I need more warm clothes but most maternity stuff is just plain or ugly...I may end up shopping in the mens dept for sweaters and stuff. That sure makes you feel pretty...right... like I don't feel frumpy enough as it is. Heartburn is getting to me all the time now - so annoying. My boobs leak and it's really gross - going to have to start wearing a bra at night or something. My naked days are over, not that I even want to see myself naked anymore. My cats are acting weird, they are clingy, hovering around me, sleeping on top of me, all 3 sitting on me, it's getting really annoying as cute as they are. Enough is enough, I have a human inside me and 3 animals on top of me, sometimes it just makes me want to yell "get off me!" I need some space! which makes me feel like a monster - they are just being affectionate. Bri feels bad I'm not having a shower and wants to do something but I feel embarassed asking people we just 'kind of' know to come to party/shower ... In my family showers have always been about family (I guess my mom being one of 7, 5 of which were girls has something to do with that) so inviting neighbors and coworkers feels kind of stupid like you're just asking for gifts or something - it just feels wrong to me. Plus your hubby isn't supposed to be the one throwing a shower..and well I have no friends here.. so whatever. I miss my brothers and my parents and my friends. I miss hanging out, having a drink, feeling like a human rather than a sideshow "How big will she get folks??". I hate that I've gained 30lbs already, and I know I'll never look the same.

I'm just really starting to feel hormonal/emotional for the first time this prenancy. I guess I've been lucky to have gone this far feeling so great. Maybe I'm just burning out of positive energy and need some 'down time'.

Who knows.

I'm not into pedicures/massages/haircuts and that shit - I dont really like strangers touching me all that much and it's more of a pain in the pocket than anything else.

Well, tonight is our last childbirth class and we get to tour the hospital. Looking forward to that.

[GinaCochina]

Pregnancy is so hard, and your hormones will do crazy things to you that you have no control over. Give yourself some time. You'll find that things will be very different in no time. You'll have the baby, and everything will change. Even if you get the baby blues, that will change over time as well. At this stage of the game it's all about the hormones. Your body is going to change and change and change, and all you can really do is make sure you are aware of what you need and that you are doing whatever it takes to make sure you're taken care of.

[Virgule3]

I have never been pregnant and I know it's easy to talk but here's how I see things...

Shower: Why don't you have one with a limited budget? You'd be surprised at how many cool things for new moms they have at the dollar store! hihi! And it is just for fun! To celebrate the pregnancy!

Maternity clothes: How about going to the stores for the heavy people instead? I don't know about where you live now, but here, we have some really HOT boutiques! You will fit in those! A couple of maternity jeans, and nice big sweaters and tops!

Sex positions: Go on the net, find books, etc... and read about it! Try to find comfortable positions that you may not have thought of!

About feeling fat: I can't help you about the feeling itself... But like I said, try to focus on other things! Try to find a gorgeous sexy top to show your big beautiful breasts! Wear make up, do your hair, etc... Change the focus to the things you like about yourself!

I find that so many women feel ugly when they are pregnant... It makes me feel sad. First, because I look pregnant all the time so it means people think I'm ugly, and second, because you are carrying a life! In my eyes, there is NOTHING more beautiful than that! I am so jealous you know!

Anyway... Like I said, I know it's easy to talk...

Take care... xxxxx

Sophie.

[SilvercashJeanette]

Aww Cyn, I'm so sorry that you're feeling down in the dumps. I hope you feel better soon...

I don't really have much advice to give seeing as how I am nearly always down on myself these days, and like Sophie said, I think being pregnant is one of the most beautiful things in the world. But I can totally understand your point of veiw and I'm sure I'll be going through the same thing ten fold when I reach that stage in my life.

But I have always thought you were incredibly hot and sexy and I highly highly doubt that that has faded in any way. You're still that beautiful, sweet and intellegent person who has a heart of gold. We don't know eachother very well, but I have always admired you and always read your posts and I think you're just great!

I really hope that you feel back to normal soon and I wish you all the best!

[She Devil]

Cyndalie, I wish I was there to give you a big hug. There is nothing easy about pregnancy. And imo 9 months is too damn long! Mind you it made me feel much better and sort of sad for the poor female elephant that has a 22 month pregnancy.

I can sympathize with the feeling lonely. Remember when I was pregnant with Mackenzie Rob still wasn't allowed in my parents house and most of my family wasn't speaking to me. Everyone I knew lived over an hour away and no one would ever come to visit me. I understand being stuck with a damn man who doesn't understand. And don't feel bad about feeling that way either. I didn't think my daughter would have grandparents and I just figured that means i need to buy more cookies. Mackenzie changed everyone and I can't even express how she seemed to 'fix' everything in my life after she was born. As far as the shower. If someone wants to through it then let them! If they want to buy you something big or little let them. Keep in mind this is partially for you and partially for your baby. You know baby Cyn wants to see a picture of her/his mommy in a big stupid hat made of bows and ribbons.

The cats know that something is going on with you and are trying to keep you warm and safe... don't feel bad about kicking them out of the room for the night. We do that a lot, especially when I was preggo. And remember as bad as it makes you feel kicking them out can't really compare to how horrible you sleep with so many lumps in the bed. And if you feel really bad the next morning, give them a big squeeze or two.

Leaky boobs suck. I went from being amused to being really annoyed with it really fast. I would suggest getting maternity bras and pads now. (P.S. GET WASHABLE PADS). I personally found a maternity shop here with a nice lady who fit my boobs specifically. It's nice because they are very adjustable once you find the right one. And no they don't look attractive but they keep those girls in line, and comfort is #1 right now. Believe me if you plan to breastfeed you'll wake up with watermelons on your chest and will be happy to have the huge bra to keep them under control. And yes I slept with the bras on all the time (pst I sometimes still do cuz they are toooo comfy lol). There are no wires so they are really nice and meant to wear all the time. Get 2-3 so you have extras for when you're washing some or if you leak through.

I didn't get that big with pregnancy but it didn't help how I felt... As I just looked like I was bloated and fat. That 'fat' feeling won't pass until about 3 months after the birth. What I did for clothes is buy a bunch of nice big track pants, those long tanks with lace at the bottom just fit my belly and sweaters. There are also some really nice stuff at maternity stores. They are expensive but I got a pair of pants and some tops to fit my belly right and loved them.

You won't feel sexy, so don't worry about trying right now. You're going to feel like you should be green to match how much of an ogre you are being. Time is not going to be on your side for the next little while. I went through some really bad time the last month or two. I just wanted my body and life back. You should talk to your doctor as you may have an imbalance chemically. I know I have a permanent saratonin deficiency which got really bad during the end of pregnancy. I know you don't like the pampering things but you need to figure out things you can do to pass the time while you wait for baby to be ready. This time isn't about anyone else. Not the cats, not the hubby. Not your parents or friends. This time is Cyndalie time. and that is it. If all you want to do is watch the Friday the 13th movies and eat pickles with ice cream then do it.

Look at your belly bump and rub it. Think about your little one. You are doing something really amazing right now. You are making life. The baby needs you to be happy right now because he/she is feeding off of your emotions. Think about how wonderful your Christmas's are going to be waiting for Santa, and when he says his first words.. even the first time he looks at you and responds to you. I cry almost everyday with the things Mackenzie does. It is hard to believe I had anything to do with it. And it is very hard now to recall how shitty I felt and how much I wanted to just get rid of her when I was pregnant. Even for her first two months I loved her and wanted her but I was too exhausted and still upset and wanted my own space.

Believe me this all will pass. It will not be in the next month but it will eventually all go away. Trust me. And I cannot express how much YOU WILL GET YOURSELF BACK. You will be that tight little Cyndalie again that I want to do dirty little things to . You will just have even more. A child adds something to your life I just cannot explain. All I can say is I never question why I'm here anymore, and no matter how upset or sad I am all I have to do is look at my daughter or watch her sleep and I melt. I would do ANYTHING for her. There is something so special about a child. Being a parent is hard from conception. There will be different things to face. Pregnancy is a big hurtle but it will also help give you patience when she breaks your favourite tea set your grandmother gave you or wanted to watch LazyTown instead of you being able to watch House. But no matter what the sacrifices just hearing her giggle is worth it all. Looking back I would go through the pain of labour every single day if I had to to be able to have my daughter now. I wouldn't have been able to do that two years ago... we all grow... just take some down time and relax and do nothing... take some Cyndalie time.

p.s. I wrote you another book... and only cried twice writing it! mwahaha!

[jjacksonesq]

I suggest going to a doctor or psychitrist. I have a long story but the short of it is that I left my depression go on untreated for so long that it almost cost me my wife. My doctor treated me with a drug called Lexapro. It has worked wonders. I feel great.

[She Devil]

You could also eat chocolate it has happiness in it...

Sarotonin is probably your problem... well lack of it. I know it's mine... Things you eat; or don't, are a big influence. I have done many studies on these kinds of things for myself. Who knows maybe it will help you like it's helped me. I have been able to deal with my imbalanced chemicals with diet, lifestyle and a great hubby and without drugs, but it may not be right for you. Give that doctor a call if it gets bad. And I'm sure we are all sitting here looking like idiots with our arms open in from of a bright monitor screen ready to give you a hug.

This is from my findings from a long time ago; I did not write this.


EAT TO BOOST SEROTONIN LEVELS

Serotonin is sometimes called our ‘satisfaction’ brain chemical because, in addition to giving us a sense of well-being, if levels are normal then we don’t feel the need to overeat sugary and refined carbohydrate foods which give us a short term serotonin boost, at the expense of a sharp drop-off soon after.

We make serotonin from an amino acid (protein building block) called tryptophan. By eating tryptophan rich foods we can naturally boost levels of serotonin. Tryptophan is not as widely distributed in our foods as other amino acids, and it is found mainly in: turkey, chicken, fish, pheasant, partridge, cottage cheese, bananas, eggs, nuts, wheat germ, avocados, milk, cheese and the legumes (beans, peas, pulses, soya), and there are also smaller amounts in breads, cereals, potatoes and rice. Because tryptophan is such a large molecule, other more easily absorbed amino acids actively compete with it. In order to divert them, and encourage the uptake of tryptophan it is helpful moderately raise insulin levels by eating starchy foods, such as brown rice, wholemeal bread, porridge oats and jacket potatoes, alongside the protein foods.

If brain serotonin levels are low then it can be tempting to reach for foods, and substances, which will temporarily give us a boost. These include sugary foods, refined carbohydrates (such as crisps, white bread, white rice and other processed foods), and alcohol. The problem with these foods is that they perpetuate the cycle of cravings. Normalising serotonin levels is probably one of the most important, and most ignored, means of reducing the need to binge-eating and drink.

While serotonin is the messenger, it is necessary for the message to be received. The brain chemical receptors are built principally from vital fats which include EPA and DHA. These two are found mainly in oily fish, such as mackerel, salmon, tuna, herrings and sardines, and also fish oil supplements, cold-pressed flax and walnut oils. Depression has been shown to be significantly improved by introducing these fats daily, over three or four months.

[TheLegacy]

Originally Posted by jjacksonesq

I suggest going to a doctor or psychitrist. I have a long story but the short of it is that I left my depression go on untreated for so long that it almost cost me my wife. My doctor treated me with a drug called Lexapro. It has worked wonders. I feel great.

Shes preg - not good for a baby to be on drugs, it can do serious damage

[Cyndalie]

Thanks SheDevil. That means alot to me, thanks for taking the time to reach out.

I've just got the blues, it's not chronic but when it hits it all hits at once I guess.

I got yelled at by my DR friday, I gained another 9lbs this past month. That's 25-30 total already now. God knows where it's going.

Last week was a good week. Things with work are good. I guess I just miss my libido and the good nookie - you know Feeling really slow and clumsy and it's just going to get worse. I know it's all for a good thing, it's just hard to imagine at this point when all anyone says is "your life will never be the same", "say goodbye to sleep", "Your body will never return to normal", etc... For a first time mom it's just hard to imagine the good and what it all is for when you are bombarded by the negatives now and yet to come.

Not feeling good about myself is a pretty opposite emotion for me. I have been more emotionally stable than I've ever been in my life up till now in my pregnancy (no pms!) .. this is just the first time I've let the blues get to me and I want to get out of it before it hangs around too long.

[RageCash-Ben]

Seems you have some good friends on this board Cyndalie. I dont know you but I do know what it is like to have the blues and its not nice at all.

Hope you feel better soon and all the best

[rhetorical]

and with all of the above, you work for Ron. Hmmmmmmmm

[Evil Chris]

I hope you're feeling better Cyn. Do something you like this weekend. (other than the obvious, which is watching the Eagles game)

[Cyndalie]

Thanks, I'm feeling much better thank you.

Tonda setup an online baby shower for me! So that's lots of fun Super nice and thoughtful of her.

This weekend I'm going to get out of the house and go to a NWR called Bombay Hook to see the huge bird migration that happens in the fall. Getting outdoors always renews my spirit. Then I'm going shopping for a nice maternity holiday dress to wear to christmas parties. And I might try to find a few evergreens to replace my out of season plants outside on the patio so we have some green to look at throughout the winter. Some fun with my in-laws we get to visit with too.

Thanks guys


rhetorical - I'm not sure what your point is, but believe it or not Ron is one of the best bosses I've ever worked for. Of course, don't tell him I said that

[TheLegacy]

Originally Posted by Cyndalie

rhetorical - I'm not sure what your point is, but believe it or not Ron is one of the best bosses I've ever worked for. Of course, don't tell him I said that

I can honestly believe that - though I don't want this to get to his head, I have over the past year alone been given a whole new perspective on this man and my respect level has increased greatly for him. It's an honor to know him and learn from his wisdom

[12clicks]

If I weren't her boss, I'd tell her she looks hot pregnant but I don't need the lawsuit

[Cyndalie]

Originally Posted by TheLegacy

It's an honor to know him and learn from his wisdom

I wouldn't go that far, although I do enjoy getting away with poking fun at him as much as we do here

[12clicks]

Originally Posted by TheLegacy

I can honestly believe that - though I don't want this to get to his head, I have over the past year alone been given a whole new perspective on this man and my respect level has increased greatly for him. It's an honor to know him and learn from his wisdom

dude, seriously.
stop hitting on me.

[Vid Vicious]

I just abuse myself .. till well .... I just abuse myself

[SFS]

Depression comes from deep inside and usually stems from something from childhood.

Reach inside, use your tools (meditation, visualizations, affirmations, deep breathing) and clear your inner core of past pain.

Live in the moment and enjoy every breath you take. Life is wonderful.

[rhetorical]

Originally Posted by Cyndalie

Thanks, I'm feeling much better thank you.

Tonda setup an online baby shower for me! So that's lots of fun Super nice and thoughtful of her.

This weekend I'm going to get out of the house and go to a NWR called Bombay Hook to see the huge bird migration that happens in the fall. Getting outdoors always renews my spirit. Then I'm going shopping for a nice maternity holiday dress to wear to christmas parties. And I might try to find a few evergreens to replace my out of season plants outside on the patio so we have some green to look at throughout the winter. Some fun with my in-laws we get to visit with too.

Thanks guys


rhetorical - I'm not sure what your point is, but believe it or not Ron is one of the best bosses I've ever worked for. Of course, don't tell him I said that

I promise I won't.

[ScreaM]

I hang out with my buddies.

[Evil Chris]

Philly won on Sunday I see...

[12clicks]

Originally Posted by Evil Chris

Philly won on Sunday I see...

its all about the Flyers this year

[Platinum Chris]

Somehow, my original post I made last week disappeared. Or maybe I forgot to hit submit.

Anyways, you're taking the first right step in talking about it Cyn. Too many people keep it bottled up inside. Glad to see you are feeling better.