Rules for the ladies

[Cold_ice]

Here you go ladies thought I would help you out. Funbrunette take note of the first one. Might be old but who cares.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. Something we said can be interpreted two ways and if one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. NO really, you DO have too many shoes.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[Funbrunette]

What!?! It's old news babe...I cut my hair over a year ago! And you just made me feel REALLY bad

[Cold_ice]

Originally posted by Funbrunette
What!?! It's old news babe...I cut my hair over a year ago! And you just made me feel REALLY bad

Hey I still think your a hottie. On a scale from 1-10 your a 11, but with long hair you were a 11.1 Shit you would be beautiful without hair, shit for that matter without legs and arms too.

[Panky]

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

LOL! This is so true. As much as I hate to admit it, I have used comments that were made weeks, sometimes even months before, during heated debates / arguments already. It takes a lot to piss me off. I have a really laid back, patient personality. One of the worst character traits I have is when I've reached my boiling point, everything suddenly becomes fair game.


I wouldn't worry about your hair FB. It looks good. Now, if you would've shaved your hair completely off, then I'd begin to worry.

[nanda]

Yeah some of those things are true, others just funny. I think FB looks great with short hair! We have to cut out hair so it can grow nicer! Looks sexy!

[Deise]

Nice rules!
And they`re funny too!

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.


I neally wet myself and now my sides hurt like shit after reading this, dam i havnt laughed for so long or so hard in like years..

ladies... i can wait for your comeback reply..

dam if i had a woman right now, i would not be on the couch, i would be out int he dog house...


dam that is so funny........

Originally posted by Panky




LOL! This is so true. As much as I hate to admit it, I have used comments that were made weeks, sometimes even months before, during heated debates / arguments already. It takes a lot to piss me off. I have a really laid back, patient personality. One of the worst character traits I have is when I've reached my boiling point, everything suddenly becomes fair game.


I wouldn't worry about your hair FB. It looks good. Now, if you would've shaved your hair completely off, then I'd begin to worry.

you know i would love to rattle your cage panky

Originally posted by Funbrunette
What!?! It's old news babe...I cut my hair over a year ago! And you just made me feel REALLY bad

most woman i date are older and smarter, that's what turns on the light bulb inside my head at night. For short hair, it is like G.I.Jane... top movie, i give woman who have very short hair to be a real turn on, there is nothing like a scratty patch between there legs also, so if more ladies like to be licked for a very long time, shave your snatch!

ok back

and for hair.. long hair is the 70 - 80's, thats in the past, we are heading for cleaner heality lifestyles and short hair is like the next fad... Look around you and see how many ladies who have short hair, i am not talking about the mid length head of strainy hair, im refering to the high and tight back of the necks that has that james bond i want to hump you in that movie look.....


be well FB, we love you!

[Cold_ice]

Originally posted by monaro
so if more ladies like to be licked for a very long time, shave your snatch!

I almost spit out my food when I read this

[Funbrunette]

Originally posted by Cold_ice
I almost spit out my food when I read this

hehehehe! That's Monaro for you baby...We love him!

[StuartD]

Originally posted by Cold_ice

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Absolutely.

[Panky]

Originally posted by Cold_ice
I almost spit out my food when I read this

You weren't the only one. Especially since it was just a statement thrown into his whole reply. Never a dull moment with monaro on the board.

[Funbrunette]

I have a question...What are you all doing eating while working? Or is it working while eating? Whatever...You get my drift!

[Panky]

I know. It is really a horrible habit to get into. It ranks right up there with eating while watching TV.

[Guenevere]

to the first post

lol otf till i sh*tted on the floor and Gaia cleaned up

reallY

[Funbrunette]

Originally posted by Panky
I know. It is really a horrible habit to get into. It ranks right up there with eating while watching TV.

Don't even go there...Remember my bag of cookies?