Last requests before entering parenthood?

[Cyndalie]

So I've started month 7 of my pregnancy this week.

Do any of you parents have some suggestions for me of things to do before I enter parenthood and end life as I know it?

Anything you wish you had done or known before the arrival of your kids?

Care to impart any words of wisdom?

[TheLegacy]

You know that SheDevil and I just went through this. Take all the suggestions with a grain of salt. Only you will know exactly what the baby needs... and know your rights at the hospital.

I was in the delivery room putting a cold cloth on SheDevil's kneck to keep her cool and not stressed. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty in the last few days screaming, "get this thing out of me NOW!!" every woman does it.

Also do not feel guilty if you feel upset or angry, simply put the baby down in the crib and walk away to relax. Your hubby seriously needs to realize that you are going to go through times when you need Me time. You may or may not feel the warmth of motherhood right away - but eventually the bond will grow. Loose all your pride - and starting now, try and talk to the baby in the womb, reading stories (both of you), even have fun with a flashlight by running it over your belly. The baby will try and reach out. This will all come to play when the baby is born and you start speaking - it will recognize your voice and be calm.

These words of advice is more for your hubby. Realize the next year or so is not going to be about you anymore. He needs to step up and help out more by changing diapers - getting the baby in the morning when crying so you don't have too... share in the taking care of the house by cooking, cleaning and laundry as much to give you a break. You are going to need to rest and get your emotions under control. This is no time to sit and watch TV or expect you to act like you were before the baby showed up.

But for you - Just relax and enjoy the experience as much. You will forget the pain and maybe the entire experience in the hospital - so try and start writing a journal now for the baby to read when they grow up on your feelings etc. as well for you too when your feeling low. But always remember - trust your motherly instincts and don't let nurses tell you what they 'feel' is right, only you do, they are going by overall cases, they don't know your baby personally.

Right now - keep positive and happy since the baby now is not just feeding from your body, but also your emotional state. Take your daily vitamins and excersize to keep your body stretching and strong for child birth. Walk often and have your hubby massage your stomach, back etc as they will become sore from kicking.

There is alot more, but I hope this helps for now.

[Ronaldo]

Simply put, enjoy the freedom you probably take for granted. It's about to end like you can't possibly expect.

[Ronaldo]

Oh, when the time comes, don't take any shit from the La Leche cult either.

[Rochard]

It's a little known fact but Donna and I have a beautiful seven year old girl.

Is there anything I wish I had done before I had a child? No, not really. Donna and I got married late in life and had a child late in life, so I had pretty much done everything I had wanted to do before then. I have no complaints.

The one thing I cannot stress enough is how your life will change....

Everything you do now is for you and no one else. Right now you eat when your hungry, sleep when your tired, and watch TV when you want to. In a short time all of this will change. You'll eat when (and where) your child wants to eat, you'll adjust your sleeping patterns to your child's, and you'll discover the joys of Barney and Blue's Clues all too shortly. I cannot stress this enough; Your entire life will revolve around your child. You'll make decisions on where you live and what job you have because of your child.

You'll also learn to discover the joys in the smallest of things in life. Your child will suddenly say something that they have never said before and it will blow your mind away. You'll watch a something the size of a lump of coal grow and learn how to crawl, walk, talk, turn off lights, form their own opinons on things, have their own tastes in music.... It will be slow and subtle and every now and then you'll sit back and think about it and be amazed.....

Good luck!

[She Devil]

The best thing we did after the baby was born was have my mother stay with us for a week after the hospital. It gave us both time to sleep and build up the energy we've needed now. It might be a good idea to see if someone can come up and help you like that.

Keep in mind you will have absolutely NO time for many months after the baby is born - especially if you breastfeed. I would suggest doing anything you like to do with the freedom you have now.

Like get prenatal message - I got one and I loved it.

Go to the theaters etc... we used to love doing this every other week and have only been able to do this once since Mac was born last December.

Have the house clean before the baby comes, and show Brian where everything important is, so he can help you get it. This includes stuff in the baby room; baby clothes, extra diapers, bedsheets etc.

SLEEP IN - this will not happen for a very long time after the baby is born, and sometimes even a full nights sleep is hard to find. (we got lucky but we can never sleep in)

Find used clothes - most friends, family, friends of family etc who have kids probably still have a lot of leftover clothes. It is a good idea to get whatever you can and sort them out by size keeping in mind when they say 6 months it usually fits from 3-5 months old. This way it will be easier when baby goes through clothes like a mad chicken - and this won't be so true until you try and put on a fav outfit they've worn twice to find it doesn't fit anymore.

Exercise - this goes for every time of pregnancy and after. Yoga is excellent or anything similar to that. Keep stretching and keep your body flexible and you will get it back faster after the baby is out then if you don't.

Trust your instincts - I almost lost my daughter because of listening to a doctor instead of my body. Nurses and doctors are very smart and you should listen to them but if your gut tells you they are wrong listen to it. You're becoming a mommy, and we all know that no matter what - mommies know best!

Know baby issues - things baby's can and can't get. Like jonas (spelling is probably wrong) where the baby's liver is not processing the vitamin D. The baby will be orange-ish and the best thing for him/her is an hour or so in the sun every day. Yeast rash vs diaper rash. Babies - especially girls can get yeast rashes which will not go away with the diaper cream. It's sort of whiter than normal rashes and will keep spreading until you get a prescription. Thrush, eczema and others I can't think of are some common baby issues that are easily fixed, and make it less 'scary' if you know a bit before taking them to the doctor.

Sex - it will become scarce after baby is here. You won't want anything near your girly parts for a while (1-3 months +) after the pain of labor. And when you finally want to do stuff it is almost impossible to get into the mood when you have time and as soon as you're ready for fun the baby will most likely start crying.

Food - The last month was my worst for eating lots and being a potato. Don't feel bad about it. Don't eat everything but if you want something then get it. You're going to be uncomfortable and it's worth the good feeling. And you will lose it between carrying lbs of baby everywhere then running after him/her.

Labour - It can seem scary but if you are anything like me you will look back on it fondly and after a while even forget the pain involved. You do not have to prove anything. Some women feel that they want to do natural birth because women have been doing it for years and they can do it to. Honestly of course you can do it! Noone is doubting you, but make sure you know the decision you are making. I have known nurses to push women to wait a little longer before taking anything and when they finally want something the nurse will say it's too close to pushing to give you anything. I suggest to do whatever you want but always leave your options open. I was given the options of epidural or c-section and I chose the first one. If they put you on an oxytocin drip I suggest get an epidural then, and screw morphine, it most likely won't do anything. After 8 hours or contractions and 6 hours or straight contractions (because of the damn oxytocin drip) with no rest it was playing on my nerves and emotional state. Might I say morphine wouldn't even touch the pain. After the epidural I could feel the contractions but more like pushing and not like I was going to burst like before. I was able to rest a bit and enjoy the process of birth. The pushing was still hard but I looked at it as only so many more minutes... I pushed her out squatting which was quite fun as it distracted me from the pain. Feel the babies head coming out, it's really cool to feel why you are going through the pain and it's just weird. You will probably rip, don't worry or think about it, it's common. The last push is really funky and is sooo releaving. Brain should watch the last push or at least part of the baby coming out, it's an amazing experience. Try not to say anything you will regret, you will say a lot of angry things no matter how passive you think you can be. After the birth of your baby remember to pee every few hours whether you feel like it or not - remember they were pumping you full of water with an iv and you will pee as soon as you stand up if you wait too long.

Talk to your doctor about feeding the baby and waking him/her up. The nurses will tell you to wake the baby every 4 hours, but if they are sleeping at night it may be okay to wait 6 hours or so during the night. It's only for the first two weeks. After that do not wake the baby at night unless there is a medical problem with him/her. We never woke Mackenzie up at night and she slept 6 hour nights from the start and 8 hour nights at about a month. Now she is in bed (sleeping and/or playing) from 8:30pm to 7:30 am.

Set up a routine. Baby's and children are creatures of habit. If they know what is happening next they feel like they have some control and you will have a happier baby. Mackenzie never cries unless her routine goes off and she's hungry or if she has a poopy diaper for too long. My mom even decided to read her this one book called 'Oh The Thinks You Can Think' since birth every time she's there. Now at 10 months Mackenzie knows and loves the book and turns the page when you are done.

I wrote you a book! lol. I'm sure I'll think of more... lol

[Evil Chris]

You are about to forget whomever you were before your child entered this world. This is what happened to me anyway.

[TheLegacy]

Oh one last thing - take a big poop - or let your husband do it.

Sit by it, eat next to it, get your head deep into the toilet to smell it if you must, but enjoy the aroma. Maybe even the feel, thats what your going to have for the next year LOL

[Evil E]

Warning: small Spoiler from Knocked Up

[Evil Chris]

The various smells that come from a baby never bothered me. In fact, most of them I found to be quite pleasant with one exception. Milk vomit.

[She Devil]

oh you won't be eating out for a while either... you really won't want to either because anytime you try and go anywhere it becomes a huge event. So a nice evening out on the town and at your favourite restaurant before the baby is something I would suggest.

[Rochard]

Originally Posted by She Devil

The best thing we did after the baby was born was have my mother stay with us for a week after the hospital. It gave us both time to sleep and build up the energy we've needed now. It might be a good idea to see if someone can come up and help you like that.

Keep in mind you will have absolutely NO time for many months after the baby is born - especially if you breastfeed. I would suggest doing anything you like to do with the freedom you have now.

Like get prenatal message - I got one and I loved it.

Go to the theaters etc... we used to love doing this every other week and have only been able to do this once since Mac was born last December.

Have the house clean before the baby comes, and show Brian where everything important is, so he can help you get it. This includes stuff in the baby room; baby clothes, extra diapers, bedsheets etc.

SLEEP IN - this will not happen for a very long time after the baby is born, and sometimes even a full nights sleep is hard to find. (we got lucky but we can never sleep in)

Find used clothes - most friends, family, friends of family etc who have kids probably still have a lot of leftover clothes. It is a good idea to get whatever you can and sort them out by size keeping in mind when they say 6 months it usually fits from 3-5 months old. This way it will be easier when baby goes through clothes like a mad chicken - and this won't be so true until you try and put on a fav outfit they've worn twice to find it doesn't fit anymore.

Exercise - this goes for every time of pregnancy and after. Yoga is excellent or anything similar to that. Keep stretching and keep your body flexible and you will get it back faster after the baby is out then if you don't.

Trust your instincts - I almost lost my daughter because of listening to a doctor instead of my body. Nurses and doctors are very smart and you should listen to them but if your gut tells you they are wrong listen to it. You're becoming a mommy, and we all know that no matter what - mommies know best!

Know baby issues - things baby's can and can't get. Like jonas (spelling is probably wrong) where the baby's liver is not processing the vitamin D. The baby will be orange-ish and the best thing for him/her is an hour or so in the sun every day. Yeast rash vs diaper rash. Babies - especially girls can get yeast rashes which will not go away with the diaper cream. It's sort of whiter than normal rashes and will keep spreading until you get a prescription. Thrush, eczema and others I can't think of are some common baby issues that are easily fixed, and make it less 'scary' if you know a bit before taking them to the doctor.

Sex - it will become scarce after baby is here. You won't want anything near your girly parts for a while (1-3 months +) after the pain of labor. And when you finally want to do stuff it is almost impossible to get into the mood when you have time and as soon as you're ready for fun the baby will most likely start crying.

Food - The last month was my worst for eating lots and being a potato. Don't feel bad about it. Don't eat everything but if you want something then get it. You're going to be uncomfortable and it's worth the good feeling. And you will lose it between carrying lbs of baby everywhere then running after him/her.

Labour - It can seem scary but if you are anything like me you will look back on it fondly and after a while even forget the pain involved. You do not have to prove anything. Some women feel that they want to do natural birth because women have been doing it for years and they can do it to. Honestly of course you can do it! Noone is doubting you, but make sure you know the decision you are making. I have known nurses to push women to wait a little longer before taking anything and when they finally want something the nurse will say it's too close to pushing to give you anything. I suggest to do whatever you want but always leave your options open. I was given the options of epidural or c-section and I chose the first one. If they put you on an oxytocin drip I suggest get an epidural then, and screw morphine, it most likely won't do anything. After 8 hours or contractions and 6 hours or straight contractions (because of the damn oxytocin drip) with no rest it was playing on my nerves and emotional state. Might I say morphine wouldn't even touch the pain. After the epidural I could feel the contractions but more like pushing and not like I was going to burst like before. I was able to rest a bit and enjoy the process of birth. The pushing was still hard but I looked at it as only so many more minutes... I pushed her out squatting which was quite fun as it distracted me from the pain. Feel the babies head coming out, it's really cool to feel why you are going through the pain and it's just weird. You will probably rip, don't worry or think about it, it's common. The last push is really funky and is sooo releaving. Brain should watch the last push or at least part of the baby coming out, it's an amazing experience. Try not to say anything you will regret, you will say a lot of angry things no matter how passive you think you can be. After the birth of your baby remember to pee every few hours whether you feel like it or not - remember they were pumping you full of water with an iv and you will pee as soon as you stand up if you wait too long.

Talk to your doctor about feeding the baby and waking him/her up. The nurses will tell you to wake the baby every 4 hours, but if they are sleeping at night it may be okay to wait 6 hours or so during the night. It's only for the first two weeks. After that do not wake the baby at night unless there is a medical problem with him/her. We never woke Mackenzie up at night and she slept 6 hour nights from the start and 8 hour nights at about a month. Now she is in bed (sleeping and/or playing) from 8:30pm to 7:30 am.

Set up a routine. Baby's and children are creatures of habit. If they know what is happening next they feel like they have some control and you will have a happier baby. Mackenzie never cries unless her routine goes off and she's hungry or if she has a poopy diaper for too long. My mom even decided to read her this one book called 'Oh The Thinks You Can Think' since birth every time she's there. Now at 10 months Mackenzie knows and loves the book and turns the page when you are done.

I wrote you a book! lol. I'm sure I'll think of more... lol

That's pretty good really....

[GinaCochina]

I am currently expecting baby number three, so I've been down this road before. First off, let everyone do everything for you that they offer to do. Never tell anyone no thanks, oh that's too much trouble, I couldn't impose, etc. If someone offers, jump on it!

This time around I am not letting anyone take any delivery room pictures of me, as I don't feel like having to go back and cut myself out of all the pictures later like I did last time. But maybe that's just me.

If you don't feel like getting up a thousand times a night because the baby is crying, just put the baby in bed with you. Even better, if you are breastfeeding, put the baby in bed with you and sleep topless. Just keep a diaper and some wipes on your nightstand and eventually you'll be changing diapers in your sleep. I did this, and I am the only person I know who slept 11-13 hours at a time with a newborn.

Also, if the doctor tells you to wait six weeks before you start having sex again, wait the full six weeks, even if you don't want to. There is a reason they tell you this. I learned this the hard way.

[Funbrunette]

Originally Posted by Evil Chris

You are about to forget whomever you were before your child entered this world. This is what happened to me anyway.

But isn't TOTALLY worth it!!! I can't imagine how empty and "drab" was life was until Ryan came into this world.

Being a mother is the best experience ever. I never thought I could love as much as I love my little guy. My only advice would be to follow your heart...Trust me you'll be getting way too many "advices" it actually gets annoying fast...Each child is different and everyone has a different style of parenting. There is no wrong or right when you love your child and are attentive.

My little advice, since you are asking of course....Sleep lot's and pamper yourself now.

It's the best feeling in the world Cyn and I wish you and Brian a wonderful delivery and lot's of happiness!

FB

[Virgule3]

I am so jealous of you guys. I never got the chance to have a baby and I read all the posts and I feel sad.

Enjoy every little thing before the baby is born and then, enjoy your baby as mush as you can.

I'm so jealous... Congratulations again...

Sophie.
xxx

[Cyndalie]

Wow, you guys are awesome!
Shedevil - that was great!
I'm going to be reading and re-reading and sending Brian this thread.
Thanks so much! I really appreciate it!

This has been such an easy pregnancy so far - no pains, no worries - that I think I am in a bit of denial just what I'm in for.

I should have pics of the nursery soon, we're working on it and it should be done within a month.

[Evil Chris]

You might not know or realize it Cyn, but these are the most important days of your life, and they go by way too fast. Before you know it, you'll be registering him/her for their first day of school.

[She Devil]

Originally Posted by Evil Chris

You might not know or realize it Cyn, but these are the most important days of your life, and they go by way too fast. Before you know it, you'll be registering him/her for their first day of school.

Yeah but I remember the last month of pregnancy being the longest one of my entire life! I was was going to have a few homicides under my belt if they didn't induce me after being over a week overdue

Once baby Mackenzie was out it was a different story... make sure you have a good camera and lots of batteries, and a video camera with lots of tapes because you'll want to capture as much on film and photos as you can because you'll be amazed how much you will forget with it going by sooo fast! There's only 51 more days until Mackenzie is 1 year old! Man how it flies! And they grow so fast.

Here's a video from last month. She's already almost walking and talking and everything now. How much she's grown in less than a month is amazing! She's starting to refuse to be fed and wants to do it herself... waaaa it's going too fast...

[12clicks]

sleep late on the weekends.
you'll lose that for about the next 6 years.

[Cyndalie]

Originally Posted by Evil Chris

You might not know or realize it Cyn, but these are the most important days of your life, and they go by way too fast. Before you know it, you'll be registering him/her for their first day of school.

Ah school = free day care
I can't wait for that day!

[Funbrunette]

Originally Posted by She Devil

Yeah but I remember the last month of pregnancy being the longest one of my entire life! I was was going to have a few homicides under my belt if they didn't induce me after being over a week overdue

Once baby Mackenzie was out it was a different story... make sure you have a good camera and lots of batteries, and a video camera with lots of tapes because you'll want to capture as much on film and photos as you can because you'll be amazed how much you will forget with it going by sooo fast! There's only 51 more days until Mackenzie is 1 year old! Man how it flies! And they grow so fast.

Here's a video from last month. She's already almost walking and talking and everything now. How much she's grown in less than a month is amazing! She's starting to refuse to be fed and wants to do it herself... waaaa it's going too fast...

Love the Jack Johnson soundtrack! Beautiful little girl!

[Cyndalie]

She is so cute! That video is a nice production, good job you two!

[Mister E]

Here's another important suggestion Cyn!

Sit back and enjoy the view! There is no way to prepare for the many taxing changes that come with parenthood.

Having said that, there is no way to prepare for the first time your child smiles at you or the first genuine baby-laugh.

You will see yourself in her eyes. You will recall moments of majesty from your own childhood.

You will love your parents in a new way and...hopefully you and the baby's father will marvel at your own holy trinity:

mother
father child

Best of luck Cyn, most of what you cannot anticipate is magik!

[Cyndalie]

I forget that this baby is going to be half of me... poor kid! So weird when you think about it. I've been a bit detached and unemotional so far, its still pretty surreal.