Dear Reader

[Buff]

I'd hoped to sit down today and distill a life's worth of hard-learned lessons into a series of witty yet heart-tugging epigrams. The tone was meant to be light, almost whimsical, but woven around the reminders to floss daily would be threads of great wisdom and golden advice. You know, one of those posts that gets linked around the Internet and, invariably, through the alchemy of e-mail gets falsely attributed to a famous author. Say, maybe Nicholson Baker at a commencement ceremony.

And at some point, the confusion gets so entrenched that the famous author is forced to issue a gracious demurral, one that expresses some admiration for the post's homespun wisdom but also subtly asks how his true fans could think him capable of such obvious treacle. Soon enough, Moby puts an edited version of the piece over a haunting musical bed and a professional voiceover talent is asked to read ludicrous nuggets like, "Always remember your first love, if not his face or name, then the intensity which accompanied your longing, and make of all your loves...a first love."

And to be fair, I did start that post. I had this little riff about how the vibrations of an electric toothbrush get communicated through the dense bone structure and end up tickling the most sensitive parts of your nose, but I advised you to use one anyway. (Whimsy!) And then I gently urged you never to go to bed mad at your spouse, if only because it's so much fun to stay up late fighting. (Serious, but with a smirk.) Finally, I attributed the whole mess to an Erica Jong graduation speech and sent it to a host of friends. So far, nothing. Not a ripple.

Perhaps I learned too late that the beauty of these posts is they assail our priorities without making us defensive. If you tell someone to spend more time with his grandmother, you're effectively saying he's neglecting her now (and that he'll regret it someday). But somehow these posts, instead of making us furious with their presumption, encourage in us a desire, one lasting four to five minutes, to lead better, fuller lives. And they do it by reminding us to "remember what's truly important in life."

And by that they mean that family must always come before career, friends before status and love before all. And it's great advice. Everyone agrees with it. But almost no one does it. Why? Because we're not meant to. We're meant to be entranced by the ephemeral, the superficial, the nonsensical. It's how we survive. It's what keeps us all singing in the shower. Trust me on this. Urging your message board readers to live constantly at the heart of pure emotional awareness is to wish them suicidal. And no one needs that particular forward.

I suppose some people live always attached to life's enduring truth, but most have experienced some horror I wish you to avoid. Perhaps they walked away from a plane crash or awoke from a three-year coma. And something about their experience has left them permanently tethered to "importance." But for all their sincere gravity, they're still the bearded ladies of life's emotional carnival. People avoid them when they can, and view them with a mixture of pity and curiosity when they cannot. They're freaks, dear reader, and most end up in cloistered sects, institutions or dumpsters.

Look, it's a lot like watching a football game when an interior lineman falls motionless to the ground. An apprehensive hush washes over the crowd and even the boozy announcer says, "Well, something like this really puts things in perspective." And, true, some part of your mind is urging him to stand, or solemnly envisioning his wife's forced introduction to respirators, catheters and colostomy bags. But the other part of your mind is saying, "Hey, what's this 12-minute delay going to do to my team's momentum? We were finally starting to move the ball."

And it's important not to feel bad about that. You're not alone. We'll all be cheering for an especially vicious crack-back block within five minutes. And that's okay, too. It's how we keep going. By avoiding "importance" when we can, and wrestling with it when we must. Because you will have to wrestle with it. When you're young, you're most often reminded of the important things in life when illness or tragedy visits those near you. As you grow older, you're reminded when they visit you. And visit you they will. More often than you wish. And when they come, they will leave shaken and scared and resilient and stronger. But don't go looking for them. Instead, while you can, concentrate on building a really good CD collection.

In case you haven't been browbeaten enough about your lapsed priorities, these message board ditties always end with a reminder that no man on his deathbed ever wished he'd spent more time at work. Well, that's probably true. I'm guessing no man on his deathbed ever wished he'd spent more time shampooing either, but that doesn't make it significant. (Nor does shampooing lend itself to weighty aphorisms.) The subtext here is that nearness to death gives us nearness to truth, and that on our deathbed we're visited by preternatural calm and perfect clarity.

Well, maybe. But it probably also scares us shitless and encourages us to say any fool thing that enters our fevered brains. Let's be honest, if deathbed utterances were a reliable handbook for life, then the famous author's commencement speech would be titled "More Morphine, Please." And, for once, I'd actually believe he wrote it.

[Magnus3x]

Hmmm ok

Originally posted by Buff
Trust me on this.

My daddy always told me not to trust people who say "trust me on this"

Perhaps they walked away from a plane crash... They're freaks, dear reader, and most end up in cloistered sects, institutions or dumpsters.

As a matter of fact, I did walk away from a plane crash. It took me 14 weeks to re-glue my broken neck and spine and various other bones.

I also knew a fairly large sample of people who's been in crashes (compared to the average individual) All of them who did not end up in a coffin ever ended up where you alledge they usually end up. They all resumed business as usual, only with more taste for life. My airplane crash is the best thing that ever happened to me. I was eager to go back up. While immobilized on my hospital bed, I kept reading experimental aircraft magazines. I flew back as soon as it was medically safe for me to do so.

By avoiding "importance" when we can, and wrestling with it when we must.

You mistake importance with obsession of the things you cannot have a control upon. Have you been checked for Generalized Anxiety Syndrom lately ? Try Zoloft, Paxil or Rivotril/Klonopin, it works wonders... Mind you, I know some who swears by Ativan... They are not pilots, though.

The subtext here is that nearness to death gives us nearness to truth, and that on our deathbed we're visited by preternatural calm and perfect clarity.

Inasmuch as some people shed their delusions, yes. As for the preternatural perfect clarity, isn't that a contradiction in terms ?

Well, maybe. But it probably also scares us shitless and encourages us to say any fool thing that enters our fevered brains. Let's be honest, if deathbed utterances were a reliable handbook for life, then the famous author's commencement speech would be titled "More Morphine, Please." And, for once, I'd actually believe he wrote it.

You're wrong again. When you're in a hospital bed, "More Demerol, Please" is not required, just "Demerol" in itself was enough to have the nurse running and me flying again.
-------------------------------------------------

Man, you earned a 110% mark on bullshiting abilities.

What's your purpose, landing writing contracts here?

Can you write good copy without bullshit? That IS the question...

[Buff]

What do you people want from me?

Originally posted by Buff
What do you people want from me?

You answer my question with the exact same question ?





You can send me money. Want my Paypal account number ?



I don't want anything from you, I'm just offering you one of either blue or red pill.

[Panky]

Originally posted by Feynman


As for the preternatural perfect clarity, isn't that a contradiction in terms ?

Wouldn't that depend on how it is used? The way it was written, "The subtext here is that nearness to death gives us nearness to truth, and that on our deathbed we're visited by preternatural calm and perfect clarity.",would be a contradiction in terms if the person was afraid of death and or of dying. If the person accepted that he or she may die, or willingly wants to die, than the experience might be perceived as welcomed. The experience would be understood and accepted.

I don't know. I could've just typed complete nonsense too.

I had this little riff about how the vibrations of an electric toothbrush get communicated through the dense bone structure and end up tickling the most sensitive parts of your nose, but I advised you to use one anyway.

LOL! True. That "tickling" of your nose happens to some people.

There's a part in that statement that is not correct, however. The "tickling" feeling occurs because you are stimulating the nerve endings of the nerves that supply the lips, maxillary anterior teeth, palate, and various facial muscles. Because the maxillary jaw bone is quite thin, there is less interference. If the upper jaw were as dense as the mandible, the vibrations would be dulled or muted all together.

Originally posted by Panky
Wouldn't that depend on how it is used? The way it was written, "The subtext here is that nearness to death gives us nearness to truth, and that on our deathbed we're visited by preternatural calm and perfect clarity.",would be a contradiction in terms if the person was afraid of death and or of dying. If the person accepted that he or she may die, or willingly wants to die, than the experience might be perceived as welcomed. The experience would be understood and accepted.

I don't know. I could've just typed complete nonsense too.

Merriam-Webster tells us:

Main Entry: pre·ter·nat·u·ral
Pronunciation: "prE-t&r-'na-ch&-r&l, -'nach-r&l
Function: adjective
Etymology: Medieval Latin praeternaturalis, from Latin praeter naturam beyond nature
Date: 1580
1 : existing outside of nature
2 : exceeding what is natural or regular : EXTRAORDINARY
3 : inexplicable by ordinary means; especially : PSYCHIC


I tend to favor definition 1 and 3. Def 2 is only a figure of speech, but IMO, a defective one.

If you accept that Nature Is, then, any clarity that is outside of Nature is not an attribute of life but of afterdeath, i.e. when your mind is gone poofff, lights off. It just ain't there anymore. And afterdeath is outside of nature. You can conclude on my position of afterdeath, I'm sure.

Def 2 is motivated by a strongly narrow view of what is possible and what is not, a predudice about what Man can and cannot do. If he had used the word "highly unusual", then, I wouldn't have bitched.

LOL! True. That "tickling" of your nose happens to some people.

There's a part in that statement that is not correct, however. The "tickling" feeling occurs because you are stimulating the nerve endings of the nerves that supply the lips, maxillary anterior teeth, palate, and various facial muscles. Because the maxillary jaw bone is quite thin, there is less interference. If the upper jaw were as dense as the mandible, the vibrations would be dulled or muted all together.

May I add that the mechanical impedence related to the bone density- the soft bristles of the electric toothbrush match is rather high, i.e. that vibrations will not transmit easily. Upper jaw being a more spongious bone stucture has a much higher rigidity to inertia ratio and thus transmits the vibration easier. But I'm speaking strictly from the standpoint of a physicist, here, not of a dental specialist as you are.

[GOD]

Hmmmm .... a duel of 2 great brains ... Feynman & Panky
I want in this thread early !!

Originally posted by GOD
Hmmmm .... a duel of 2 great brains ... Feynman & Panky
I want in this thread early !!

Duel ? Huh ? It's not because I added a slight twist to it that I disagree. I dunno what may have made you conclude that.

Of course, it's because you are preternatural, dear God. Outside of this world.

he he.

[Buff]

Well, I would hate for anyone just to read and enjoy my work absent critical academic examination.

[Panky]

Originally posted by Buff
Well, I would hate for anyone just to read and enjoy my work absent critical academic examination.

LOL!

Consider it a compliment. All great works of art and literature have all been analysed and discussed.

Would you rather have people open the thread and think to themselves, "That's an awfully long post to read.", and then not read your work? Would you rather have them just make sarcastic comments without actually reading your work?

One of the points to writing an essay and posting your work, was so that people would actually read it and form their own opinion about what you wrote. Some will take it for what it is and just enjoy the read, others will choose to discuss your work.

[Panky]

From one point of view the context in which preternatural calm and clarity was written, actually should not have been used. Because, by definition, preternatural refers to after death.

Another point of view is that the term was used in describing when people are in limbo between death and life. If they tend to lean more towards the side of death, but not dead yet, then to experience a "preternatural calm and clarity", is not completely off base. Some people tell of experiences they had when they were in this "limbo". It's often described as if "God" or an "angel" came to visit them. There was no more fear. Suddenly, the mind was clear, uncluttered. For some people, it is their time to die. For others, they still have more life to live, so they "fight" to stay on the side of "life".