About That Glass Next to the Keyboard
About That Glass Next to the Keyboard
I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is determined by whther you think the glass is half-empty or half-full. Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a half glass of milk next to the keyboard.
Optimist:
The glass is half full.
Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.
Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?
National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!
Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.
NSA:
We know what it really is.
Paranoid:
Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here?
WHY WHY WHY!!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!
Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?
Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.
Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
Faith-healer:
If we worship it, it will feel better.
Feminist:
How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?
Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!
Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.
Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.
Idealist:
In a decent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough for everyone to enjoy.
IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.
Mac users:
Where's my pump?
MIS:
I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
Schroedinger:
That stupid cat got into the milk again!
Security consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?
Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
UI designers:
What's that crap in my glass?
UNIX users:
Nahh ... too easy.
Windows users:
Where's my straw?
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