I got this from one of my daughters, who is as...er..."eccentric"...as I am. 
True Friendship...
Are you tired of those sissy-azz "friendship" poems that you're
always getting in e-mails??? Well, here's a new one...
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking
you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.
Remember.......A good friend will help you move.....a REALLY good
friend will help you move a body.......let me know if you ever need me to
bring a shovel.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
True friendship
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