Thermodynamics Of Hell

[ARiA]

THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry midterm exam.
The answer was so profound that the professor shared it with his colleagues,
which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when expanding, heats up when compressed) or some variant.
One student however wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, as we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as
souls are added. This gives two possibilities:



If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
freshman year, "that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you".
If we also take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true. Thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given.