You won't believe this affiliate's email! lol

[Brad Mitchell]

You just have to read it for yourself:

"Hi Brad:
We run a web site dedicated to the sexual side of the Star Trek TV shows and movies. We ran across your site and were brainstorming a bit. What we were thinking of, was a specialized phone sex service where our customers could call up and play out "Star Trek" fantasies. I think the only hitch would be that the ladies on the other end would have to be familiar with the Star Trek characters enough to play out these people's fantasies. It wasn't real clear from your site if you could offer this level of specification, or if you are just talking about niche sites in the sense of how to promote the service, as opposed to the individual ladies specializing in some niche. Is this something you could perhaps provide?"

It took ever ounce of maturity in me to give him a serious reply. Here's what I said:

"Hi _____,
Sorry but I can't offer it. Unfortunately, this is just too specific to create. Also, there is a question of trademark infringement with marketing such personalities. I do wish you the best of luck, this is certainly the most unique idea I've ever heard for a phone sex line. You are probably right, I bet there are alot of guys out there with that fantasy."

When really this was what I was thinking...

"Dear MENSA Psycho,
Your email frightens me so much that I'm afraid to bring children into this world. I understand that it's been a long time since you've seen the sunshine, but there is a real world all around us. Honestly! Just because you and hundreds of thousands of Trekkies didn't have dates to your High School prom doesn't mean that there aren't real women out there for you. I am confident that if you and your Trekkie comrades were okay with sharing women that attending the various conventions would be good for at least a little bukkake.

The thought that I would subject one of my lovely 400 pound phone sex divas into pretending to be a tree sloth from some distant moon is really degrading. Honestly, I think my girls would rather be pissed on, shit on, or maybe even bark like they're being fucked by a dog.

Honestly, I know that Trekkies have great disposable income - for OBVIOUS reasons. Hell, I bet they have twice the disposable income of the average gay man and that says quite a bit! I am sure that if I went to the effort of creating a line it might be capable of making alot of money. However, my biggest concern is that you and your cult will spend all the time quizzing my delicious women for details and factoids rather than jerking off. I would be afraid of the reprecussions and chargebacks if one of my girls accidentally confuses two different fictional alien species.

Best of luck with your endeavor! May the shwartz be with you."

Brad