About That Glass Next to the Keyboard

[Bratt]

About That Glass Next to the Keyboard



I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is determined by whther you think the glass is half-empty or half-full. Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a half glass of milk next to the keyboard.


Optimist:
The glass is half full.


Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.


Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.


Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.


Basic programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.


Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.


C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.


CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?


National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!


Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.


NSA:
We know what it really is.


Paranoid:
Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here?
WHY WHY WHY!!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!


Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?


Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.


Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.


Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!


Faith-healer:
If we worship it, it will feel better.


Feminist:
How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?


Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!


Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.


Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.


IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.


Idealist:
In a decent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough for everyone to enjoy.


IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.


Mac users:
Where's my pump?


MIS:
I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.


Schroedinger:
That stupid cat got into the milk again!


Security consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?


Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.


UI designers:
What's that crap in my glass?


UNIX users:
Nahh ... too easy.


Windows users:
Where's my straw?