Computer Points to Ponder

[Bratt]

Computer Points to Ponder



Do Viruses ever get sick?
Do witches run spell checkers?
Does a broken Window get you 7 meg. of bad luck?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
How come programmers find it so easy to master the special language that runs computers, yet those same folks who write the technical manuals for the rest of us have no grip on simple English?
How come the users can find all the computer bugs and not the programmers or analysts?
How do you press F1 when your PC has a keyboard error or no keyboard present?
If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?
If Ignorance is Bliss, then why aren't there more happy Windows 98 users?
If we can make semiconductors, why can't we make complete conductors?
If you access the Internet from the country, does that mean you have a down home page?
In DoubleSpace, can anyone hear your data scream?
In Microsoft Word, why does the spell checker recommend changing the word 'zzzz' to 'sex' ?
Is AOL so expensive because someone has to pay for those free disks?
Is it true that in Russia, a KGB keyboard has no escape key?
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
Just where is the "any" key anyway?
Was Jimi Hendrix's modem a Purple Hayes?
What kind of locks do computer keys open?
When you turn your computer monitor off, does the screen saver still work?
Which one is the fatherboard?
Who actually clicks on the "No, I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Why are disks called floppy and paper is hardcopy?
Why can't they make mainframes PC compatible?
Why do computer users only blink an average of 7 times per minute, while the average person blinks 22 times per minute?
Why do most software developers call bugs they can't fix, features?
Why do some on-line modem access software programs tell you to go and download the latest version of the software if you can't get the product to work? Just how are you going to do that?
Why do they call it a hard disk if its damaged with the slightest impact?
Why do we call it downloading when as often as not it's freeloading?
Why do we trust computers when they make as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 people working 20 years make?
Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?
Why does the "save" icon on Microsoft Word show a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards? This is not very reassuring!
Why does the computer auto-save while you are trying to delete?
Why doesn't the 'esc' key work in Leavenworth?
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename"?
Why is a keyboard called a keyboard if it only has little buttons?
Why is it that whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition?
Why do people insist on telling everybody to go and check their homepage but don't actually let you record your checkmark?
Don't you just hate it when you've completely finished your newly created web page.....and the server goes down as you're uploading?