If you have the time to read this...

I got this email to one of our amateur sites and just thought it was one of the funniest emails I've seen in a while. This guy needs to take a Valium!

This was sent after an update she did with a new Mercedes that was "supposedly" her new car.


howdy,

you stuck up, worthless conceited whore. it's nice driving such a high performance german roadbeast like a new mercedes isn't it? so what's the best thing about owning it, knowing that you're daddy's lil princess while driving on campus with your stupid mindless no-personality friends and people will stare at you cuz you're hot and you drive a new car that most people would give their left lung for, or the fact that you got it for free and you didn't have to work for it like most honest people did?! what the hell makes you think you even deserve a car like that?! and no i'm not jealous! i'm paying out the ass for my new beetle all while refusing my parents' periodic financial offers to help me out, and i'm building character while doing it. and don't you dare say to me or anyone else in my predicament 'just because your family doesn't have as much money as mine does or accept money by showing off your body and your parents don't give YOU free cars doesn't give you the right to be jealous of me.' well eat me bitch! it makes me all the more furious, cuz this whole new car thing is simply going to add to your already snobby mississippi attitude. and another thing, i'm sick and tired of going to your site and reading the blurbs under your shitty free update photos (show some skin will ya???) hoping to hear you talkin' dirty or something, only to read about how hot you think you are and how nice your tits are. are you that insecure about your looks that you have to constantly reassure yourself how attractive you are?! how the fuck is it possible for someone like you to be so beautiful on the outside, yet so fucking ugly on the inside?! what the fuck is wrong with you?! christ! now don't say to me 'well if you don't like my site then stop coming to it asshole!' the reason i come to your smarmy site as often as i do is because i would give my left nut to fuck the woozah (woozah?) outta you. now the only reason that this whole thing really pisses me off is because my second girlfriend was the sweetest, most beautiful and most generous person i ever met...until she turned into a stuck up, easy ho-bitch like you, wearing brand name clothes and listening to whatever MTV tells her to cuz she has no personality of her own and is terrified, absolutely terrified to say what's truly on her mind cuz the one thing she wants most in the world is to look good in front of her peers. i remember one day she told me (after the whore cheated on me) that a guy stopped her in the school hall and said verbatim 'hey girl you got a fine body.' she was dumb enough to take that as a compliment! are you like this?! this fucking shallow?! i know what you're thinking now, 'you can't blame me for that...where's my bong?' well fuck you and too bad! you remind of all that is not only evil but stupid in this crazy world that is already brimming with both! must you add to it?! i see girls like you every day! i say 'girls like you' cuz you're all the same! mass-produced factory cutouts that all look the same and spout the same bullshit! if a thousand of you were to die then no one would notice cuz there are so many more of you worthless bitches out there! you may think that you're young and free and independant, but i got news for ya. The young, independant, "I am woman, hear me roar" female of the '90's is nothing but a large conglomerate of whiny bitches. fuck 'em all and fuck you! you giggle around in your apartment frittering your prepackaged, predecided wrapped in shiny paper 'life' away worried about trivial tampon concerns and your stupid date with some hot-shot jerk that drives a fancy red car that he couldn't afford in a million years in any other country because he was one of those idiots that played high school football and went to prom with the prom queen and goofed off in class while all the other people tried to pay attention so they could get a good enough grade to get into college and maintain a job to pay for their tuition while trying to muster up just enough time each day to eat without having to worry about being criticized by his peers when he doesn't have the time to "have a life" and be cool and go to parties with all the other rich little daddy's boys that can afford to piss away their lives on sexual experimentation, drugs, drinking, smoking and listening to mind rotting MTV and watching alanis morisette while feeling their way up their date's shirt and getting away with it EVERY time because they're rich little pretty boys that can bribe the sheep into keeping their mouths shut because they have no free will and tend to conform to whoever or whatever has the power like zombies because they can't stand to be individuals with their own thoughts for a change, but instead they let some overpaid jackass control them with multi-billion dollar advertisement campaigns with some starved fools that call themselves models do all the talking and force feed tampons, yeast infection treatment, hundred dollar sun glasses, pants, shirts, shoes and horrible music down our throats while we the consumers become consumed.
is this you tina? are you an individual or just another shitty excuse for a mammalian biped? suffering god in hell, how could you be so blind? so blind, and oh so fucking stupid?
please come to terms with reality soon, and have your ovaries cut out so as not to give birth to any stupid children, cuz god knows there are enough of those running around as well. stupidity begets stupidity.

yours,

doug

p.s. burn in hell with your petty materialistic friends. cum dumpster.