Post A "QUOTE"

[Darin]

-- Thomas Paine
Character is much easier kept than recovered.

[Darin]

-- Dorothy Parket
If all the girls attending the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

[ARiA]

GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT:

"The government announced today that it is changing its emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects the government's political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed."

[scotty]

shazbot!

[UFOARA]

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.

Albert Einstein
(1879-1955)

[Darin]

-- Ellen Parr
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

[ARiA]

"To make a long story short, don't tell it. "

[UFOARA]

That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.
Albert Einstein

[UFOARA]

Top selling cookbook in Korea...
101 Ways to Wok Your Dog.

[UFOARA]

Things Not To Say During Sex

1) Is it in?
2) That's it?
3) You've got to be kidding me.
4) (phone rings) Hello? Oh nothing and you?
5) Do I have to pay for this?
6) Do I have to call you tomorrow?
7) Oh Momma, Momma!
8) Oh Dadda, Dadda!
9) You look better in the dark.
10) This is much better than my last girl/boyfriend.
11) I thought that goes in the other hole...
12) Don't tell my husband/wife.
13) You have the same bra my mom does (worse if the girl says it).
14) This sucks.
15) Can you finish now? I have a meeting...
16) I hope you don't expect a raise for this...
17) I think you might get the job for this.
18) Damn! is that all you know what to do.
19) Did I tell you, I have herpes?
20) Now we must get married.
21) Hurry up, the games about to start.
22) I'm hungry.
23) I'm thirsty.
24) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
25) Are you trying to be funny?
26) Can I have a ride home after this?
27) Are those real?
28) By the way, I want to break up.
29) Is that smell coming from you?
30) Haven't you ever done this before?
31) Wow!! I've never seen those before (then grope wildly).
32) Do you know what some female spiders do after sex?
33) You're so much like your sister....
34) Your mom's cute.
35) What's your name again?
36) Do I have to be here in the morning?
37) A second time? I barely stayed awake the first time!
38) But you just started!!
39) You're about as good as a 9 year old, and I should know!!
40) Don't touch that!!
41) Can we order a pizza?
42) I think my dad is listening at the door.
43) Smile for the camera, honey!!!
44) Take off that damn monkey glove!!
45) Get your hand out of there!!
46) I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
47) I knew you wore a padded bra!!
48) Cover me boys, I'm going in!!!
49) DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!
50) Fire one!
51) God, that is small!!
52) Hold on, let me change the channel...
53) Who smells like fish?
54) Is it o.k. if my mom (and/or dad) joins in?
55) Your best-friend does it much better.
56) Hope you don't mind I left my boots on.
57) Hurry up, the motor's runnin'.
58) You're fogging up the wind-sheild.
59) Can I borrow 5 bucks?
60) What the hell noise was that?!
61) Stop moaning, you sound so stupid.
62) Shut up, bitch! (worse if the girl says it)
63) You know, you're not really attractive.
64) I'm sorry, I was not listening.
65) What, oh yea, I love you too, now let me concentrate!!
66) Stop interrupting me!!
67) I have to poop.
68) Did I leave the iron on?
69) Your breath is funky.
70) (start singing Green Day).
71) Is it o.k. if I call someone, its o.k. though, keep going...
72) Its ok honey, I can imagine that its bigger.
73) God I wish you were a real woman.
74) Why can't you ever shave your legs?
75) By the way, when I drove over here, I ran over your dog...
76) Oh Susan, Susan... I mean Donna...dang.
77) Your breast milk is like my mom's....
78) You're hairy!!
79) Your "happy trail" led me to a dead end.
80) Is it o.k. if I never see you again?
81) Did I forget to tell you I got worms from my cat?
82) Don't make that face at me!
83) All of a sudden i have a headache.
84) You're boring.
85) Would you shave my back after this.
86) Did I mention my name is Zog from Planet Tog.
87) How much do I owe you?
88) How come we each have a penis?
89) Of course you can't be on top, you're too fat, you'll kill me!
90) Your ass is hairy (the guy says this).
91) Just use your finger, its bigger.
92) Does your family have to watch?
93) We'll try again later when you can satisfy me too.
94) Get off me, I'll do it myself!!!!
95) Can you hold this sandwhich for me?
96) You're as soft as a sheep, inside and out.
97) The only reason i'm doing this is because I'm drunk.
98) My mom taught me this...
99) How cute... peach fuzz!
100) Dang girl! My boobs are bigger than your's!
101) Should I ask why you're bleeding?
102) This is my pet rat, Larry...
103) If you can't do it, I'll find someone else who can!
104) I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker!
105) I was once a woman...
106) Wanna see me take out my glass eye?
107) No I don't love your mind, I can't grab that!!
108) Is it o.k. if I tell my friends about this?
109) I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly!
110) You wanted me to use a condom?
111) You're no better than my brother!!
112) Mooooo!!
113) Fire in the hole!!!
114) I wanna see how many quarters I can fit in there.
115) Hurry up, I'm late for a date.
116) OK start...oh! That feels so... YOU'RE DONE??!!
117) You ever see basic instinct?
118) I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?
119) Don't squirm, you'll spill my beer.
120) Did I tell you where my cold sore came from?
121) You got boogies showing.
122) Start reciting the 10 commandments.
123) I think I just pooped on your bed.
124) Of course I don't love you.
125) Let me spell it out for you, b-r-e-a-t-h m-i-n-t.
126) A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time.
127) And to think ... I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
128) Are those real or am I just behind the times?
129) Did I mention my transsexual operation?
130) Did you cum yet dear?
131) Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
132) Does this count as a date?
133) Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun??
134) Don't mind me, I always file my nails in bed.
135) How long do you plan on being almost there?
136) Have you ever considered Liposuction?
137) Have you seen Fatal Attraction??
138) Hey? ... When's it gonna be Marv's turn????
139) Hic! ... I need another beer for this please ...
140) I bet you didn't know I work for the ENQUIRER.
141) I have a confession...
142) I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off...You got a light?
143) I REALLY hate women that thinks sex means something.
144) I think biting is romantic, don't you?
145) I was so horny tonight, I would have taken a duck home!
146) I'll tell you who I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're
thinking of.
147) Is that a hanging sculpture?
148) Is that you I smell or is your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
149) Is this a sin too???
150) I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain
151) Keep it down, My mother is a light sleeper
152) K-Y Jelly or no K-Y Jelly, I SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!
153) Long kisses clog my sinuses
154) Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like
155) My Ex used to do it a lot longer
156) Now I know why He/She dumped you
157) Oprah had a show about women like you
158) Perhaps you're just out of practice
159) Please understand, I'm only doing this for a raise.
160) SO that's why they call you Mr. Flash!
161) Sorry about the name tags ... I'm really bad with names.
162) Sorry, I don't do toes
163) They're not cracker crumbs ... it's just a rash.
164) Were you by any chance a repressed child?
165) What are you planning to make for breakfast?
166) What Tampon????`
167) When would you like to meet my parents?
168) You can cook too, right?
169) You could at least act like you're enjoying it!
170) You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
171) You look younger than you feel
172) YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT MY BLIND DATE!!!!!!!!
173) You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
174) You'll still vote for me won't you?

[Darin]

-- Blaise Pascal
It is the fight alone that pleases us, not the victory.

[Cyndalie]

My Favorite Quote is

"Logic is an organized way of doing things wrong with confidence"
- R.A. Heinlein

[XxXotic]

shit or get off the pot

[firehorse]

"Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. but I was the first man to piss his pants on the moon." - Buzz Aldrin

[Kid A Roc]

never interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake.
-salim hadia rhasmusa

[kingofgalleries]

One day when all is said and done there will be nothing no worrys no idiots and no assholes just perfect serenity. No naggy girlfriends no backstabing friends just me my self and I and only god knows I cant wait.

[scotty]

dont eat yellow snow.

[JMgraphics]

'Why does beer always lead to Sex?'

[LuckyDog]

Babies got back
and I cannot lie
when other brothers can't deny
when a female walks in
with a itty bitty waste
and a round thing your face
you get sprung.

I love that Poem. I makes me think of the old days when Grandma used to read it to me.

[Darin]

-- Neil Peart
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

[Darin]

-- M. Scott Peck
There is no worse bitterness than to reach the end of your life and realized you have not lived

[wsjb78]

"Wars cannot be prevented, they just can be postponed to the advantage of another one!"
Nicolo Machiavelli

[Purple Haze]

The distance between insanity and genius is measured by success.

[wsjb78]

It is the mind that creates the world about us, though we stand side by side, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours.

[wsjb78]

To live means to love,
To love means to suffer,
If you don't want to suffer
Then you must not love,
But if you don't love
What do you live for then?

[Aly]

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing" - Helen Keller

"Embracing the paradox, I know I know nothing." - Aly.

[Evil Chris]

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
Mark Twain

[wsjb78]

Never start a fight, but always finish it!

[firehorse]

'Be where punch is not." - my cousin

[prof]

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed. - Albert Einstein.