Contest within a contest! - Page 2

mailman · 01-11-2003, 02:59 AM

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL RIGHT ITS LATE NIGHT JOKE TIME.....

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:00 AM

first off have to say sorry to the blondes...

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:00 AM

Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
A: The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?
A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:00 AM

Q: How do you give a blonde more headroom?
A: Adjust the steering wheel.

Q: Why did the blonde have lip stick on her steering wheel?
A: She was trying to blow the horn.

Q: Why does a blonde wear panties?
A: To keep her ankles warm.

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:01 AM

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: How does a blonde turn on the lights after having sex?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:01 AM

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:02 AM

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They are both screwed when they're on their back.

Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before she went out?
A: If you're not in bed by midnight, come home.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:02 AM

Q: What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?
A: At the circus you'll find a cunning array of stunts.

Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
A: She peed on her corn flakes.

Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.

Q: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra?
A: Thanks for the refill.

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:03 AM

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Mister X · 01-11-2003, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by mailman
but your luckey you get to work with her...

I LOVE HER....

But I'm not in Montreal where she is yet.

Here's one more pic to perk you up!

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:03 AM

Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mister X
But I'm not in Montreal where she is yet.

Here's one more pic to perk you up!

Egh.. i dont wanna see some penis i wanna see her pink bits man...

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:04 AM

but it does perk me up know that im one post closer to that picture, lol

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:05 AM

damn i got over 35 replies so far.. wooooo hooooo failry safe as of yet i would imagine....

mailman · 01-11-2003, 03:06 AM

i wonder think anyone will take the time like i have to make all these posts?

i hope not or this is one wasted night.. no cash or picture.. EEEEEEEEEEEK