Things I've learned...

[Funbrunette]

As I've Matured...

I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big willy
or huge boobs.

I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is at
first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting
long after you think you're finished.


Hehehehe! Have a good one everyone!

[webgurl]

I've Learnt to Save Money and
Start my own business

[Mister X]

Originally posted by Funbrunette
As I've Matured...

I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big willy
or huge boobs.



Hehehehe! Have a good one everyone!

________ ______ _________ ______ __ ______ _ _ _


(Fill in the blanks)

[Bigsampy]

I've learned...

sometimes it's okay to lose the argument (even when I'm right).

I can be a great morning person (per my 9 month old son).

a smile goes a LONG way...

I wonder what Evil Chris learned...

[StuartD]

Originally posted by Feynman
I wonder what Evil Chris learned...

Either wear a condom or learn to pull out sooner

[Funbrunette]

Originally posted by Feynman
I wonder what Evil Chris learned...

Funny people! These aren't actual things I've learned...I'm not that flaky?!? Wait...Am I?

[Nano]

I've learned red wine is better than water...

[LadySharlot]

I've learned that you can't hide broccoli in a glass of milk. LOL

There's more of them (written by kids) and if I find 'em, I'll have to post the rest.


Lady Sharlot :-)

[LadySharlot]

Found'em!

Things Learned From Children

For those who already have children past this stage, this is hilarious.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house, 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 52 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush followed by the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke........ lots of smoke.
9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
11. "Play Dough" and "Microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Look in the oven before turning it on. Plastic toys don't like ovens.
20. The spin cycle on the washing machine doesn't make earth worms dizzy.
21. It will however make cats dizzy.
22. Cats can vomit twice their body weight when dizzy.

[Yo Adrian]

I've learned to not eat 99cent fish tacos

[Funbrunette]

Originally posted by LadySharlot
Found'em!

Things Learned From Children

For those who already have children past this stage, this is hilarious.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house, 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 52 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush followed by the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke........ lots of smoke.
9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
11. "Play Dough" and "Microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Look in the oven before turning it on. Plastic toys don't like ovens.
20. The spin cycle on the washing machine doesn't make earth worms dizzy.
21. It will however make cats dizzy.
22. Cats can vomit twice their body weight when dizzy.

I love it! Thanks LadySharlot! That is too cute! Can't wait to meet my little guy!

[Darin]

I've learned that being married means you are always wrong.

[Vid Vicious]

I've learned that lifes a bithc and then you marry one ..

I've also learned that a divorce lawyer can be your friend

[MissyMiss]

Ive learned if you want something done right , than you gotta do it yourself

Ive also learned that it is lonely at the top and thats why everyone hates me

To Be continued.......

[xamoMike]

I've learned to stop learning things. I swear I spend 90% of my day learning and 10% making money. I think it should be the other way around!

[Kenny B]

Originally posted by xamoMike
I've learned to stop learning things. I swear I spend 90% of my day learning and 10% making money. I think it should be the other way around!

90% learning is great, it's when you spend 90% just surfing aimlessly that you have a problem!

[StuartD]

I've learned...

where there's a will... there's a wife