Question to both women and men that are dating..

Visualad · 02-18-2009, 01:58 PM

To the females:

Does it matter to you where the guy you are dating takes you (for dinner).
Do you prefer more "upscale" restaurants and pretty much expect him to take you to such a place or does it not matter where he takes you?

To the men:

Do you have a "limit" to what you will spend on a dinner with a lady you are dating? And if youve already taken her to a "upscale" place several times, do you figure its time to take her to cheaper places?

a discussion I get myself into about once a year with my buddies. Most of them think I spend way to much money on dating.

My own favourite restaurants, etc are usually the most expensive, so that is where me and my date usually end up. And I do not think I EVER thought about money when it comes to dating.

But 80% of my male friends are the other way. They think alot of how much they want to spend and most have a certain limit to what they think is acceptable to spend on a date.

So.. lets hear it.. Anyone on Xnations Dating?? ;-)

Virgule3 · 02-18-2009, 02:06 PM

I don't care where I go, as long as I'm in good company. I'm not high maintenance.

I'd like to be dating but apparently, I am not attractive to anyone these days... Months... For the past three years actually.

cdsmith · 02-18-2009, 02:20 PM

I have no set limits or pattern. If the lady I'm taking out is attractive to me (not just looks) I don't think it matters. Unless she feels like going to a particular place I'm liable to take her to a restaurant that I know and like, in hopes she'll like it too. Cost isn't an issue, it's about having a good time together, not worrying about how much your steak & lobster is going to cost.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Virgule3

I'd like to be dating but apparently, I am not attractive to anyone these days... Months... For the past three years actually.

I can relate.

lulu · 02-18-2009, 05:59 PM

well visualad and cdsmith, i need to meet more men like you. i want to enjoy myself and be in good company. that's the most important thing. a man that can make me feel comfortable.

Vid Vicious · 02-18-2009, 06:21 PM

for me it really depends on the girl ... learn to read your date ahead of time, it will save you lots of time and money.

I find it's more important to make a good impression by being yourself not by what you spend your money on .. with that said if the girl your dating does make a comment about bringing her to a cheap but good restaurant, drop her ass but quick! before the check comes!

cdsmith · 02-18-2009, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lulu

well visualad and cdsmith, i need to meet more men like you. i want to enjoy myself and be in good company. that's the most important thing. a man that can make me feel comfortable.

Ever been to Winnipeg?

DonMike · 02-18-2009, 06:27 PM

I'm so glad gay people don't need to worry about these kinds of things. LOL!

lulu · 02-19-2009, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DonMike

I'm so glad gay people don't need to worry about these kinds of things. LOL!

sorry, they don't? ever?

DonMike · 02-19-2009, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lulu

sorry, they don't? ever?

I was being facetious. I'm not like most gay men. In fact, I'm not like most people in general. LOL! When it comes to dating, though, I tend to go dutch for the first few dates. That way nobody feels obligated to carry through any further than they want.

There are pros and cons in any dating situation, gay or straight. I joked about the restaurant but there are a whole other bag of neuroses that gay men have about dating.

FortressDewey · 02-19-2009, 04:15 PM

i tend to spend more now that we are married than when we were dating. Partly b/c of financial situation, partly b/c I'm a bit jaded about the whole who pays for dinner thing while dating.

Chivarly being what it is and all, I do tend to spend more now.

TheEnforcer · 02-19-2009, 04:19 PM

No right or wrong answer here IMHO. If you like going to upscale restaurants regularly then do so. If fining a ma and pa joint that has great food at great prices i your thing do that. Adjust as much as you can handle for the person your are with but don't completely change who you are to please someone unless you REALLY think that change is for the better.

Visualad · 02-19-2009, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheEnforcer

No right or wrong answer here IMHO. If you like going to upscale restaurants regularly then do so. If fining a ma and pa joint that has great food at great prices i your thing do that. Adjust as much as you can handle for the person your are with but don't completely change who you are to please someone unless you REALLY think that change is for the better.

NOT looking for a right or wrong answer.. cause there is none. ;-)

Just curious on what others do or dont..

TheLegacy · 02-19-2009, 08:11 PM

Honestly - it has nothing to do with the girl, has everything to do with what you can afford. If in a tight situation - there is nothing like learning to cook and putting together a great meal at home - learn to please her and she'll respect a man who can cook and be romantic by candlelight, soft music - her favorite meat and properly prepared side dishes.

Evil Chris · 02-20-2009, 10:07 AM

I say it doesn't matter. Expensive or frugal. If he or she thinks a favourite place is "below them" then maybe they need to find someone else.

When FB and I were first dating, we took one another to our favourite places. We enjoyed one another's company regardless of where we were, and if we happened to be in a place where it all went to hell somehow, we just laughed about it.

TheLegacy · 02-20-2009, 11:30 AM

Totally agree with Chris - if someone is expecting it then they really arent the person you want to be with - whether its a burger at a zoo or high on top of a revolving restaurant or 200$ plate - no matter where you are, you're together. Someone who expects it isnt someone who expects a long term relationship since when reality sets in, none of us can afford expensive or cheap nights out all the time.

DrChango · 02-20-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLegacy

Honestly - it has nothing to do with the girl, has everything to do with what you can afford. If in a tight situation - there is nothing like learning to cook and putting together a great meal at home - learn to please her and she'll respect a man who can cook and be romantic by candlelight, soft music - her favorite meat and properly prepared side dishes.

I find if I make something and even if it doesn't turn out as well as I would have hoped, I rack up some major brownie points.

This line has actually worked wonders: "Those guys on the Food Network tricked me! Let's go out for ice cream, there's a cold Stone Creamery about two blocks away..."

Landed me an 'un-girlfriend' that doesn't begrudge me my nerd moments. I also took her out for sushi the first date, so covered my bases.

12ClicksMichele · 02-20-2009, 12:08 PM

I never cared about that stuff. I was as happy to go grab some burgers and shoot some pool as I was to go to a fancy dinner. In fact some of the best dates I had were the more laid back ones.

Visualad · 02-20-2009, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLegacy

Totally agree with Chris - if someone is expecting it then they really arent the person you want to be with - whether its a burger at a zoo or high on top of a revolving restaurant or 200$ plate - no matter where you are, you're together. Someone who expects it isnt someone who expects a long term relationship since when reality sets in, none of us can afford expensive or cheap nights out all the time.

I do not agree. Some of my best (and in some cases longest) relationships have been with girls that have "high standards". High standards in that they pretty much had their mind set on more upscale places.

Ofcourse, since my fav places are those kinda joints.. It was all cool.

The tendency I noticed with all these ladies is that over time - things "mellow" done a bit. So grabbing a hot dog from the street corner or a pizza can be ok. But out of all the ladies Ive been dating except for a handful - almost all expect (atleast for the first period of dating) something more upscale and "nice".

Again, im not after a right or wrong answer cause there is none. I think it is very interesting to see how others think or do when dating.

One thing I think MIGHT play a part in this is country/big city or small town.

I dont like to lump people into categories but I do notice that girls Ive dated that originally come from smaller towns - are more mellow and cool. While Big city ladies are more used to comfort, high standards and what not.. So they kinda expect that. :-)

Cyndalie · 02-23-2009, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Virgule3

I don't care where I go, as long as I'm in good company. I'm not high maintenance.

I'd like to be dating but apparently, I am not attractive to anyone these days... Months... For the past three years actually.

carol.prime · 02-25-2009, 09:19 AM

I don't go on a date if Im not comfortable with the person I'm dating. I make sure that I know something about him and his background and other stuffs. Once I have these things, then everything will be fine for me.