10 ways to kill your boss

Cyndalie · 04-23-2007, 11:20 AM

I would like your contributed suggestions please

No particular reason... really..hehehe

Okok, maybe not KILL....but you know - in general, make life miserable

I wonder if I can rewire his machine to electocute him every time he tries to type, or double clicks his mouse.

I'd hang an anvil over his desk but anvils are just too hard to come by these days.

Maybe line his seat cushion with tacks?
But just under the surface so they are undetectable until one sits down

I need more ideas!

TheLegacy · 04-23-2007, 01:25 PM

you could always catch him in a compromising pose then post it all over the internet? that'll do it

Cyndalie · 04-23-2007, 04:00 PM

hahahaha you love that picture don't you

Well I did 10 things to sabotage his office
So far he's found 9/10

TheLegacy · 04-23-2007, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyndalie

hahahaha you love that picture don't you

Well I did 10 things to sabotage his office
So far he's found 9/10

yup, and just wait until he gets the lube out, then it will be a 10/10 fatality.

student4ever · 04-23-2007, 08:05 PM

I think the #1 item of my things I've done to 'da boss' had to be when I was working retail, so it just does not translate well to an actual office setting.

Way... way... way back when I was the gopher with two bosses. One boss was totally cool and the other was the total jerk. We had a soda machine for the customers and we all used the key to open it and get free ones for ourselves (and the cute women needing help with bathing and wet suits). Working in a SCUBA shop had it's advantages. All three of us drank the same type of soda, so we had to mark our cans to know whose was whose.

The other critical item to know is that we had an antique cash register - the old style with the big keys that had to be hit with your knuckle to get them to register and when the 'sale' key was mashed, the drawer flew out with an amazing force.

One day when Jerk Boss was being really bad, I decided to exact some revenge. He was in the middle of a really big sale with a very cute woman. Translated... he wasn't noticing anything going on around him. On sales like that, he always jogged up to the register, pounded on the keys and slammed his fist on the 'sale' key - all while still talking with the customer.

A little while before he was wrapping up, I got a new soda and drank about 1/4 of it - then carefully put Jerk Boss's mark on the can. I then set it carefully in front of the cash register drawer. When he jogged up for his big sale, I was a safe distance away, doing my chores, but made sure I had a perfect view of him.

He did exactly as expected and slammed down on the 'sale' key. The can did about a two and a half gainer in the air before hitting him in the chest - soda was EVERYWHERE! LOL Of course, he immediately asked who the soda can belonged to, but then got very quiet when he saw 'his' mark on the can.

It was made all the more perfect when I found out that the reason he was wearing a suit that day was that he had a hot date right after work.

moral of the story? don't piss off the peons...

Funbrunette · 04-23-2007, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by student4ever

I think the #1 item of my things I've done to 'da boss' had to be when I was working retail, so it just does not translate well to an actual office setting.

Way... way... way back when I was the gopher with two bosses. One boss was totally cool and the other was the total jerk. We had a soda machine for the customers and we all used the key to open it and get free ones for ourselves (and the cute women needing help with bathing and wet suits). Working in a SCUBA shop had it's advantages. All three of us drank the same type of soda, so we had to mark our cans to know whose was whose.

The other critical item to know is that we had an antique cash register - the old style with the big keys that had to be hit with your knuckle to get them to register and when the 'sale' key was mashed, the drawer flew out with an amazing force.

One day when Jerk Boss was being really bad, I decided to exact some revenge. He was in the middle of a really big sale with a very cute woman. Translated... he wasn't noticing anything going on around him. On sales like that, he always jogged up to the register, pounded on the keys and slammed his fist on the 'sale' key - all while still talking with the customer.

A little while before he was wrapping up, I got a new soda and drank about 1/4 of it - then carefully put Jerk Boss's mark on the can. I then set it carefully in front of the cash register drawer. When he jogged up for his big sale, I was a safe distance away, doing my chores, but made sure I had a perfect view of him.

He did exactly as expected and slammed down on the 'sale' key. The can did about a two and a half gainer in the air before hitting him in the chest - soda was EVERYWHERE! LOL Of course, he immediately asked who the soda can belonged to, but then got very quiet when he saw 'his' mark on the can.

It was made all the more perfect when I found out that the reason he was wearing a suit that day was that he had a hot date right after work.

moral of the story? don't piss off the peons...

HILARIOUS!!!!!

born2blog · 04-24-2007, 05:02 AM

I always thought you were strange Cyndalie but this thread definitely confirms it for me LOL

gabrio · 04-24-2007, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLegacy

you could always catch him in a compromising pose then post it all over the internet? that'll do it

where you find these ahahaha

Evil Chris · 04-24-2007, 10:32 AM

Wait for him to take off his shoes and then put ketchup and mustard packets in them.

Cyndalie · 04-24-2007, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Chris

Wait for him to take off his shoes and then put ketchup and mustard packets in them.

Beautiful!

Great stories S4E!

Platinum Chris · 04-24-2007, 12:24 PM

Take a screenshot of his computers desktop. Then, hide all the icons past the screen. Set the screenshot as the desktop picture and voila, non-clickable icons.

I did this once back when I worked for a TV company. The VP got so angry he threw his mouse across the office. Quite typical how bosses take it out immediately on the wrong cause w/o actually investigating the issue before laying punishment.

Poor mouse.

TheLegacy · 04-24-2007, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gabrio

where you find these ahahaha

Im just a happy guy LOL

lulu · 04-24-2007, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLegacy

Im just a happy guy LOL

omg, lmao rob.

for killing my boss.... tell him or her you're having a crazy love affair with his main server guy. might send your boss into cardiac arrest.

jackbdirty · 04-24-2007, 07:18 PM

If you really hate your boss, just sneak into the worst neighborhood in town...post a sign that says tons of guns for sale. Put the address to his house, and put p.s. -- no blacks, mexicans, or gang members allowed cause I hate you...LOL

Make sure to post his phone number with it too.

It won't be a good day for the boss. LOL

Jack

Relentless · 04-24-2007, 08:37 PM

Tie him or her to a table and use a power sander on his or her abdomen. You can take off 1 layer of skin at a time if you practice. One layer per day for as many days as it takes.

SilvercashJeanette · 04-24-2007, 08:45 PM

These are great! Priceless story btw S4E! Hilarious!

I wish I had something to contribute, but I'm dry in this area....

Way3 · 04-25-2007, 10:59 AM

Glitter or confetti in his file drawers! Make sure you get it in the folders. He'll be finding it for years!

Strickie · 04-25-2007, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platinum Chris

Take a screenshot of his computers desktop. Then, hide all the icons past the screen. Set the screenshot as the desktop picture and voila, non-clickable icons.

I did this once back when I worked for a TV company. The VP got so angry he threw his mouse across the office. Quite typical how bosses take it out immediately on the wrong cause w/o actually investigating the issue before laying punishment.

Poor mouse.

I like this one a lot, thank you!

lovelycyco · 04-25-2007, 08:11 PM

You can always do what I do and bake him brownies and cookies. So that when he complain he's getting fat agree and call him a fat ass.

XXXPhoto · 04-25-2007, 10:56 PM

He could die from embarassment if that relationship with the gay giant ever came to light...

Cyndalie · 04-26-2007, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XXXPhoto

He could die from embarassment if that relationship with the gay giant ever came to light...

There are some things you think you know, some things you know, and some things you never want to know. Regardless of whether you know or not, you never actually want to see it.