Sex Nightmares!!

[Izzy]

LMFAO!! VERY FUNNY STORIES!!! Hope yall like them.




NIGHTMARE #1

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over,
pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There
might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened
the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting
neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the
guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend
then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his
ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered ! guy. Calmly,
the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."



NIGHTMARE #2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came home from work, and
found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I
do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down
on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure.
After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.
Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his
teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife
there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What! are you doing in
here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your
mother"


NIGHTMARE #3

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to
kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling
a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand
against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you
give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My
parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this
hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we
get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, th! ey're all
sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I
love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just
can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the
stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair
disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead
and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says
she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake tell him to
take his hand off the intercom!"

-Izzy