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Old 11-19-2008, 12:27 PM   #1
12ClicksMichele
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Default Mental Hospital Phone Menu

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the bee p or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.
You'll just mess it up.
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Old 11-19-2008, 11:05 PM   #2
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I'm going to press 2 repeatedly.... I like the tone better.
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Old 11-20-2008, 11:32 AM   #3
Way3
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Nice list! Thanks for the laugh!
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Old 11-20-2008, 01:15 PM   #4
Kristine
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I like the blonde part
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Old 11-20-2008, 05:27 PM   #5
emac
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine View Post
I like the blonde part
yeah i lol'd to that part as well.
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Old 11-20-2008, 06:43 PM   #6
Rochard
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That was good....
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Old 11-24-2008, 01:59 PM   #7
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That is the ringtone I have had for my mom hahaha
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