Toronto Maple Leafs Win Stanley Cup!!!
Canada was stunned Monday when it was announced that The Stanley Cup will be awarded to the Toronto Maple Leafs, possibly as early as December 6th.
The cup will be stripped from 2008 playoff champions the Detroit Red Wings and be awarded to the Leafs, who didn't even make the playoffs.
How is this possible, Canadians ask?
Well, the Leafs have formed a coalition with eastern conference semi-finalists the Montreal Canadiens, and conference quarter-finalists the Ottawa Senators, now out-ranking the Red Wings on the basis of a complex rating system incorporating regular season points, play-off results and bonus points for extended periods of utter futility.
According to new Leaf GM Brian Burke "the Red Wings have lost the confidence of the league and should hand the cup over immediately to our coalition".
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is cutting short a European trip to try to resolve the unprecedented hockey crisis that could force a second playoff series, or see an opposition team coalition take the cup.
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