Dumb things you have done....

Nickatilynx · 03-10-2006, 12:58 PM

I was reminded this morning of one of the dumb things (out of many) I have done...

So I'll start.

Here goes.....

Back about 15 yrs ago my brother was up at Oxford and would come down to the country to visit me most weekends.

Well this one weekend he comes down with his VW Golf filled with cases of soft drink.

I was told for a minimal investment in this new soft drink I could obtain the marketing rights for all of Southern UK . ( I was a venture capitalist then.)

We went into the kitchen and cracked a couple of cans , tasted it and I immediately pronounced it piss. I then launched into a rant over what shit it was and that I wouldn't even feed it to the French.I may have mentioned to my brother that should he ever bring me such crap again I would insert it into him in a very unpleasant manner

It was called "Red Bull"

Anyone else have a "Damn that was dumb" story ??

Funbrunette · 03-10-2006, 01:01 PM

OMG I'm pleading the 5th on this one, unless I can come up with a mild version....(being in witness protection doesn't help...lol)

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 01:17 PM

Oh, I LOVE the "Red Bull" story!

Did Technick ever get that "My Brother is a Twit" tattoo?

I think the "dumbest thing" I ever did in life was develop a personality as a child that firmly - almost desperately - believed that people were good, kind caring creatures. My Life as a Disney Movie.

Mandy, many decades later, I was forced to admit that people taken as a group are mean, petty, impossibly stupid creatures that should be avoided whenever possible.

*Individuals* may be different, but for the most part, the human race isn't worth the finger effort it would take to press the little red button. They only reason I don't suggest use of the button is that it would also take out the few individuals I've met that I'd like to keep around.

I used to think this was a bitter and jaded outlook. Now I think it's merely pragmatic.

Tomorrow...we'll do "trust." That one gets interesting, too.

Evil Chris · 03-10-2006, 03:15 PM

ok this one doesn't give Nick's much of a run, but it's still not bad.

A few years ago, I was coming home late from a softball game. It was a weeknight, and about 11:30pm. Most everyone on my street were already asleep.

Back then I had the little Mercedes which I was driving home. Since my Golf was parked where I needed to go, I parked the SLK on one side of the driveway and proceeded to move the Golf into the street. I park the Golf, and hop back into the Mercedes (the top was down).

As I start to move into the driveway, I notice out of the corner of my eye that the Golf isn't where I put it. It was rolling slowing (but gaining speed) down the street. My whole body kinda lurched a bit in my seat, as if I could do something about it but impossibly I couldn't. So I sat there and watched my car roll down the crescent before smashing into the neighbour's mini-van which was parked in the street.

Turns out I (for whatever reason) left the Golf in neutral without the hand brake on.

Since my neighbour was asleep I never told him. No I'm kidding. I went to see him first thing in the morning. Insurance covered the damage.

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 03:24 PM

Ah...memories...I had the "didn't set the handbrake" on my car once, too. Unfortunately, when it began to roll...I tried to get back in it to stop it. I managed to do it...but not without a tad bit of injury to the leg that *didn't* get back in the car in time. It didn't hit anything (the car, not the leg) and I was *so* grateful my husband hadn't witnessed it. He would have...remarked.

That also reminds me of what in my family is called "the escalator incident." JUST AS I SAID "make certain you have *both* feet on the stair!" to my youngest daughter, she managed to plant both feet firmly...on the crack between two stairs. She went over backwards. I caught her, screaming for my husband not to let her fall...not realizing that I had one foot on the escalator...and the other on the floor. My feet promptly went into two different zip codes before somebody hit the kill switch on the escalator. My daughter, thankfully, wasn't injured.

I...was.

I still haven't gotten over my fear of escalators. Interestingly enough, I did fight it some at a webmaster convention with the help of Mark Tierra, if memory serves correctly on the gentleman's name. We fought a couple of phobias together.

DrGuile · 03-10-2006, 03:48 PM

On christmas eve's morning, it a gourgeous day in Montreal, sunny, brisk... a real pleasant time to drive down to my hometown and gf's hometown and see our respective family.

I only have a temp car driver license at that point, so I need to be with someone with a real license for more than 2 years to drive.
My gf only has her for a year or so, but we still decide I will drive us down. There's no snow or anything, nice and clear, should be smooth sailing.
At the 2nd corner, 2 blocks from my apartment, I neglect to check the lights and they just happen to be red. We get run into by a man in a Dodge Spirit.

So, Im driving a car I cant legally drive, Ive just gotten us in a serious enough accident, and we dont have a car for christmas.

So that was a pretty dumb mistake.

BUT, since things always seem to work out for me:
1. No one was injured (that was my main fear)
2. I had my motorcycle license already at that point. I gave the number to that, and no one noticed I did not have the class 5 required to drive cars. Guy in accident didnt notice, insurance didnt notice
3. My father drove up to Montreal to pick us up, at a moment notice, without even hesitating.... Christmas was saved

(so, cost me 750$ for a part of the repairs, and a bit more in insurance for 5 years after that, but that's it.)

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 04:29 PM

DrGuile...that whole thing actually turned into a pretty good Christmas story.

Nickatilynx · 03-10-2006, 04:39 PM

Chris

Dr.Guile...so you committed insurance fraud , huh?

;-))

Bhelliom · 03-10-2006, 04:44 PM

Dumbest thing i ever did.... move in with my bitch of an ex gf.

Nickatilynx · 03-10-2006, 04:49 PM

another one...( I have tons)

When I was young and single I had a house with a nice long drive up to it through a gate which was lockable , but you could see the car from the road driving by.

Now my girlfriend at the time had to drive by my house on the way to her house so she could check to see if my car was on the drive.

Well being the low down duplicitious asshole I am there was an occasion when I didn't want her to realise I was home at home , so I came up with a cunning plan.

( A lot of of my "dumb things" start off with me thinking "I have a cunning plan" actually)

Put a line of hedged pot plants in front of the car and from the road it will look like there is just the hedge.

Unfortunately that night it was very windy that night and all the plants were blown over ( oh and the peice of plyood that was part of the disguise)so the next evening I had to come up with a complete bullshit story why the entire rear of my car was scratched to shit.

Oh what a tangled web we weave....

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bhelliom
Dumbest thing i ever did.... move in with my bitch of an ex gf.

I have one of those. (Boyfriend, actually.)
But, because I did...I *only* have one of those.

Nick...were you actually seeing a woman who wouldn't think it was odd that landscaping suddenly appeared in your driveway????

DrGuile · 03-10-2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MorganGrayson
I have one of those. (Boyfriend, actually.)
But, because I did...I *only* have one of those.

Nick...were you actually seeing a woman who wouldn't think it was odd that landscaping suddenly appeared in your driveway????

wouldnt calling one of Nick's girlfriend stupid be a pleonasm?

I mean, she was his girlfriend...

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DrGuile
wouldnt calling one of Nick's girlfriend stupid be a pleonasm?

I mean, she was his girlfriend...

Long have I searched the universe for someone else who knows what a pleonasm is....

The rest of you are cordially invited to look it up....

*happy dance*

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 05:41 PM

Oh, by the way, in case you missed it, Nick, you just got most wonderfully burned....

Bhelliom · 03-10-2006, 05:43 PM

ple·o·nasm ( P ) Pronunciation Key (pl-nzm)
n.

1.The use of more words than are required to express an idea; redundancy.
An instance of pleonasm.
2.A superfluous word or phrase.

Example... " a tiny little child"

for those of you too lazy to look it up....

Nickatilynx · 03-10-2006, 05:45 PM

This isn't a proposal from Lichenstein... LOL

;-0))

The driveway was around 150yds long. from the roadAll around the square of drive the opposite side from the road was a line of ornamental hedging in pots about 5 ft tall...

so X is the hedging in pots C is the car....

Normal position

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
C

All that needed doing was

XX XXXXXXXXXXXX
C
XX

Road here...

So see...from the road it looks just like the line of hedge......

Jesus Christ...LOL

;-)))

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bhelliom
ple·o·nasm ( P ) Pronunciation Key (pl-nzm)
n.

1.The use of more words than are required to express an idea; redundancy.
An instance of pleonasm.
2.A superfluous word or phrase.

Example... " a tiny little child"

for those of you too lazy to look it up....

Actually - not that I'd take great and total exception with your dictionary source - it means using and adjective that is an integral part of the definition of the modified word. Like "tall giant." (Unless making a comparison...if you have two giants standing next to each other and one is taller, then he would be the "tall giant.")

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nickatilynx
This isn't a proposal from Lichenstein... LOL

;-0))

The driveway was around 150yds long. from the roadAll around the square of drive the opposite side from the road was a line of ornamental hedging in pots about 5 ft tall...

so X is the hedging in pots C is the car....

Normal position

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
C

All that needed doing was

XX XXXXXXXXXXXX
C
XX

Road here...

So see...from the road it looks just like the line of hedge......

Jesus Christ...LOL

;-)))

I've known you long enough to be surprised by nothing...but that explanation came close.

It was also completely coherent, a fact that frightens me considerably.

Actually, seeing the schematic, it wasn't a bad idea. The execution just needed a tad more work.

Nickatilynx · 03-10-2006, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DrGuile
wouldnt calling one of Nick's girlfriend stupid be a pleonasm?

I mean, she was his girlfriend...

Told the wife.

She can't wait til you visit

;-)))

Bhelliom · 03-10-2006, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MorganGrayson
Actually - not that I'd take great and total exception with your dictionary source - it means using and adjective that is an integral part of the definition of the modified word. Like "tall giant." (Unless making a comparison...if you have two giants standing next to each other and one is taller, then he would be the "tall giant.")

I'm going to have to defer to the expert on this one...

Nickatilynx · 03-10-2006, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MorganGrayson
I've known you long enough to be surprised by nothing...but that explanation came close.

It was also completely coherent, a fact that frightens me considerably.

Actually, seeing the schematic, it wasn't a bad idea. The execution just needed a tad more work.

British fucking weather....

The best laid plans of mice and men....

Anthony · 03-10-2006, 07:06 PM

Dumbest thing I've done is stayed in a 3 year relationship 2 years and 9 months too long.

Nickatilynx · 03-10-2006, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anthony
Dumbest thing I've done is stayed in a 3 year relationship 2 years and 9 months too long.

LOL!!!!!

MorganGrayson · 03-10-2006, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anthony
Dumbest thing I've done is stayed in a 3 year relationship 2 years and 9 months too long.

My bad relationship really should have clued me in during the first 15 minutes but I was too young and inexperienced to know any better. The *last* 15 minutes were great, though.

domtheboy · 03-10-2006, 08:47 PM

My all time favourite - coming home pissed from a night out was walking through the bus station. Scruffy looking guy asked me for a cigarette. Said sorry mate, I don't smoke, but assuming he was homeless I said, I got some money you can have.

His reply ?

I'm not homeless mate, I just want a cigarette

MorganGrayson · 03-11-2006, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by domtheboy
My all time favourite - coming home pissed from a night out was walking through the bus station. Scruffy looking guy asked me for a cigarette. Said sorry mate, I don't smoke, but assuming he was homeless I said, I got some money you can have.

His reply ?

I'm not homeless mate, I just want a cigarette

This is why you Brits have such a reputation for being so terribly polite.

I'm assuming the bus station didn't provide those handy machines from which one can purchase cigarettes....

Nickatilynx · 03-11-2006, 08:04 PM

I once tipped a guest at a hotel mistaking him for a doorman...

He took it though LOL

Anthony · 03-11-2006, 08:12 PM

Shit, don't get me started on the time you tried to talk this woman outta being a call girl, and she wasn't.

hahahah

MorganGrayson · 03-11-2006, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nickatilynx
I once tipped a guest at a hotel mistaking him for a doorman...

He took it though LOL

When I worked for Holiday Inn, as the bookkeeper, a bright elderly lady asked me for more coffee as I walked through the restaurant. Since she was so polite, and I was rather bemused, I got it for her. The waitress was equally bemused...and I declined her offer to share the tip. The reason I was in the restaurant in the first place was a heat seeking missile need for coffee, so I would have lifted the coffee pot in the first place. I figured the extra little walk with it was good exercise.

Panky · 03-11-2006, 09:11 PM

Oh my... I don't even know where to begin. LOL!

My recent "dumb thing" was this evening I was making supper. Well, I had various pots boiling on the stove and everything else was finished. I looked at the one pot wondering why it never boiled. My first thought was that the element died and then I realized I turned on the wrong burner.