Why Is Negativity The Sales Approach of the Industry?

[TheLegacy]

after reading what this guy said about me on another board.. I realized that far too often this industry is made up of people who simply hate. can't imagine going through life with so much negativity and anger. eventually it has to catch up to you. I have always attempted to be a mediator and feel that those is a professional job (yes I see adult industry as professional) - you need to have a level of class and for lack of a better word, "professionalism". this lesson has been lost on some as they approach working in this industry like vacuum cleaning sales persons of the worst kind - be pushing and arrogant will get the sale.

sadly I see those people lasting maybe 3 months max 3 years or so before they burn out and either move to another job or simply leave the industry.

Those of us who have stayed around the longest know, that you survive by respect, not only in yourself by being cool/having your shit together and not boasting but mostly - respecting the other person your dealing with - not attempt to create a sale by bitching and calling them names.

here is what was written when I stood up for posting on this board

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here is what someone wrote about me

"How do you know what happens off the boards? The same people who harassed and stalked people are still there. Legacy, you just are bored and want your name to appear everywhere. Be selective, bro. I have observed your style for years. You fly under the radar. You distance yourself just enough from the bad guys to play it safe.

I certainly wouldn't be proud of being a moderator. Most moderators are judgmental assholes with inflated ego's. Don't you have a new wife and child? Shouldn't you be spending more time with them instead of jumping from board to board?

Shame on you, L-E-G-A-C-Y"

[Greg B]

Well said Warren.

People that hate like that are just basically expressing fear. They've done something they're afraid that if you or others find out they'll undergo some unknown horrible result only their demented minds could conjure up.

I don't know about the guy who wrote that about you but in general that's what I'm saying about these 'hater' people. Usually they're flunkies to people who smile in your face and can't wait for you to turn your back. I've had my fair share from one source in this business and two of em' are sorry they did. The others soon will be.

So when people like that get on your lines, just write em' off as punks and keep rolling on. They'll be their own undoing soon enough.

[Evil Chris]

Robert, there are a lot of people who just don't know how to read other's posts and more often then not, take things the wrong way. I'll admit I have been guilty of this in the past myself.

Couple that with an industry that is chock full of massive egos (even the employees have this issue, nevermind the owners) and you have yourself a breeding ground for misunderstandings and eventually a hateful atmosphere at times.

I had an ICQ conversation with a fairly well known marketing person about a year ago that went south because he was completely misunderstanding my humor. He gave me a cold reception last time we met in person, and to this day has a different opinion of me. There isn't much I can do about it. I'm certainly not losing sleep over it either.

[Greg B]

Well said Evil Chris!

History shows that when two people are into a fight it's because someone was on the side insitgating the fight. People round these parts who are greedy, cowardly, and jealous whisper sinister somethings in the unsuspecting's ear and voila, you have a fight.

It's a simple equation, look at who exactly said something negative to 'you' about someone else? Did they say such a negative thing about the person 'in' the person's presence or did they do this 'on the side' by 'pulling your coattail'?

That right there is your worse enemy, the guy or gal who is waiting to stab you in the back at first chance.

[Cyndalie]

This industry is not what it was 5 years ago Rob. Most of those I looked up to are gone, gave up, and gotten out, and those that are still in I no longer look up to because I know better now. It's no longer about what you know it's who knows you, and to be honest, none of that really matters - When it comes down to it, the business owners in adult, our bosses for example or the bosses we are right now, know what is important and lasting - professionalism. Don't let those that try to break that down by irrelevant attempts at public ridicule get to you. I wouldn't think twice. All they want is a reaction that will prove them right, or the response that "earns their respect" hahah

Sure some people show the ugly side first - it's a defense mechanism that those who have been burned in this business can be jaded by. Many people have really gotten hurt or lost a lot of money that can destroy lives. Rise above it and carry on as if they aren't there. All you can do is lead by example.

[Greg B]

You can say that again Cyndalie!

I've seen people who started out making millions in this biz totally fucked up beyond recognition almost.

They got large, got greedy, irresponsible and you know the rest.

I wouldn't worry about the scumbags. As I mentioned earlier they gravitate toward one another, start their own conglomerate and forget there's no honor amongst theives. It's inevitable that one will cheat with the other one's girlfriend or not share enough cocaine or forge a signature or any number of combination of fuck ups.

That's when the professional moves in. He outsits the devil as the old folks say and waits til they screw up and then goes in for the kill. Much like real estate. Big investment groups buy up all the good stuff, over price it, fuck up turn on each other like wolves and then the pro-level guy goes in and gets it all on the down-low. Like that old joke about the young bull and the old bull looking at a field of cows and the young bull says, " Hey, let's run down there and fuck us one of them cows!" and the old bull says, "Lets' just walk down there and fuck em' all.".

[Magnus3x]

I guess the downside of a small industry and boards is that it turns into a high school mentality. Keyboard warriors and people miss reading the text like in EC's example.

I say focus on the positive, don't read into or care what others think, especially those you don't interact with. If someone said to me, I've been watching you on the boards for years and I think....." I'd say get a fucking job!! Caring about how someone fly's under the radar on boards isn't doing anything to help your bottom line.

"Never mess with a persons dignity, because it means everything to them and nothing to you."

[Evil Chris]

Leading by example is a great way to live life... full stop.

Ah but sometimes ya just want to do the smack down on someone! LOL

[TheLegacy]

Originally Posted by Cyndalie

This industry is not what it was 5 years ago Rob. Most of those I looked up to are gone, gave up, and gotten out, and those that are still in I no longer look up to because I know better now. It's no longer about what you know it's who knows you, and to be honest, none of that really matters - When it comes down to it, the business owners in adult, our bosses for example or the bosses we are right now, know what is important and lasting - professionalism. Don't let those that try to break that down by irrelevant attempts at public ridicule get to you. I wouldn't think twice. All they want is a reaction that will prove them right, or the response that "earns their respect" hahah

Sure some people show the ugly side first - it's a defense mechanism that those who have been burned in this business can be jaded by. Many people have really gotten hurt or lost a lot of money that can destroy lives. Rise above it and carry on as if they aren't there. All you can do is lead by example.

very true - I just needed to vent - after 11 years I rarely speak of the insanity that has become of salespeople and owners who are so self absorbed that professionalism goes out the window.

thank god after so many years I have people such as yourself who remain close friends and we havent changed