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03-14-2006, 11:53 PM
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#1
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Evil Chris
is drinking Heineken
Clone of myself
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 12,984
xBucks: 388,485
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Dirty Limericks!
All right it's almost St-Patrick's Day... and I figured why not post a few dirty limericks to mark the occasion?
I don't care if you've Googled them or know them by heart... just share them here! The dirtier the better!
Here's one....
There once was a hooker named Sue,
Who filled her vagina with glue.
When they paid to get in,
She said with a grin,
You must pay to get out of it too!
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03-15-2006, 12:01 AM
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#2
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Evil Chris
is drinking Heineken
Clone of myself
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 12,984
xBucks: 388,485
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"I told you", said Dick to Louise,
"Not to wash for a month, if you please.
I prefer hanky panky
With you when you're manky
And smelling of over-ripe cheese."
.....
She farted a deafening earful
And gave me (I guess) a whole rearful
While giving her head.
It invaded the bed
With a pungency horribly fearful.
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03-17-2006, 12:58 AM
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#3
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war_ner
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: united states
Posts: 1,539
xBucks: 2,643
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Hi Chris!
There once was a man named Bob
He loved to show off his nob
He flashed it at Dave
And rubbed it on Jay
Who sucked it like corn on the cob
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03-17-2006, 12:59 AM
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#4
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war_ner
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: united states
Posts: 1,539
xBucks: 2,643
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Another one..
There once was a vampire named Mabel,
who's period was notoriously stable
So one night in June
she sat with a spoon
and drank herself under the table
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03-17-2006, 09:18 AM
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#5
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Evil Chris
is drinking Heineken
Clone of myself
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 12,984
xBucks: 388,485
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Here's one most of you have probably heard before...
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it,
He said with a grin,
While wiping his chin,
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!
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03-17-2006, 10:37 AM
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#6
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Nickatilynx
should edit this
OLD GUARD
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In the fairway 25yds past Newton in the crap
Posts: 348
xBucks: 2,586
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A grey webmaster named Evil Chris
often gave one off the wrist
Waking up one day
With dravyk who was gay
He proclaimed "Fuck ! I must of been pissed"
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03-17-2006, 12:20 PM
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#7
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MorganGrayson
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Unbelievably happy and in Love!
Posts: 990
xBucks: 9,448
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nickatilynx
A grey webmaster named Evil Chris
often gave one off the wrist
Waking up one day
With dravyk who was gay
He proclaimed "Fuck ! I must of been pissed"
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Next class, students, we shall discuss "meter," or the lack thereof....
__________________
Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.
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03-17-2006, 12:23 PM
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#8
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MorganGrayson
should edit this
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Unbelievably happy and in Love!
Posts: 990
xBucks: 9,448
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Insomnia being what it is, and poets being what they are, when I was young I killed a couple of nights when I couldn't sleep by writing 50 dirty limericks...none of which I will reproduce here, as they are in one of the many moving boxes marked "manuscripts" and I don't intend to look for them. They scanned, though, no matter how occasionally feeble they may have been obscenity-wise.
Chris...thanks for the "Nantucket" one. For some reason, I *always* blank on that one...and it comes up in my life more often than I can explain.
__________________
Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.
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03-17-2006, 12:23 PM
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#9
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Funbrunette
is Travelling the
world!
CORRUPTED ADMIN!!!!!
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 8,933
xBucks: 283,585
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nickatilynx
A grey webmaster named Evil Chris
often gave one off the wrist
Waking up one day
With dravyk who was gay
He proclaimed "Fuck ! I must of been pissed"
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ROFL!!!!!!!
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03-17-2006, 01:29 PM
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#10
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Evil Chris
is drinking Heineken
Clone of myself
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 12,984
xBucks: 388,485
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You know.... Nick rhymes with a lot of things too!!!
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03-17-2006, 01:38 PM
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#11
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Evil Chris
is drinking Heineken
Clone of myself
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 12,984
xBucks: 388,485
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At his computer sat Nick,
His hand... full of his dick,
But "full" is in this case quite relative,
And not to be overtly offensive,
His hand is the size of a tooth pick.
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03-19-2006, 06:12 AM
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#12
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GOD
is ...
Hallowed Be My Name
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Heaven
Posts: 299
xBucks: 4,108
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There once was a man from Kent
Who's cock was so long it was bent
To stay out of trouble,
he stuck it in double
And instead of cumming he went.
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03-19-2006, 06:15 AM
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#13
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GOD
is ...
Hallowed Be My Name
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Heaven
Posts: 299
xBucks: 4,108
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There once was a fellow from Ealing
Who pounded his pud with great feeling
And then like a trout,
he'd stick his mouth out
And wait for the drips from the ceiling.
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03-19-2006, 06:16 AM
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#14
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GOD
is ...
Hallowed Be My Name
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Heaven
Posts: 299
xBucks: 4,108
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There once was a whore named Maureen
Who's cunt was not kept very clean
The semen dripped out,
of her smelly old spout
Which she wiped up and ate with Saltines™
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03-19-2006, 06:19 AM
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#15
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GOD
is ...
Hallowed Be My Name
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Heaven
Posts: 299
xBucks: 4,108
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There once was a Rabbi from Peru
Who was vainly attempting to screw
His wife said "Oy vay!
"If you keep on this way
"The Messiah will come before you!!"
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03-19-2006, 06:21 AM
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#16
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GOD
is ...
Hallowed Be My Name
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Heaven
Posts: 299
xBucks: 4,108
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There once was a guy from Old Port
Who's prick was remarkably short
As he climbed into bed,
his lady friend said
"That isn't a prick - its a WART!"
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03-19-2006, 06:23 AM
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#17
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GOD
is ...
Hallowed Be My Name
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Heaven
Posts: 299
xBucks: 4,108
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There once was a man from Iraq
Who had holes down the length of his cock
When he got an erection,
he'd play a selection
From Johann Sebastien Bach
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03-19-2006, 06:25 AM
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#18
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GOD
is ...
Hallowed Be My Name
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Heaven
Posts: 299
xBucks: 4,108
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There once was a woman named Betty
Who's cunt hairs stuck together like Spaghetti
She was dripping in sleaze,
well past her knees
You had to part her legs with a Machete!
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