100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman

[Bratt]

100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman

[list=1]We can get laid anytime we want

We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar

We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk

We get out of speeding tickets by crying

We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg

We can sleep our way to the top of the class

We get to shop at Victoria's Secret

We can marry rich and then not have to work

We never have to pay when we go out on dates

Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them

Men light our cigarettes for us

Men hold the door open for us

We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)

We're cuter

We lie better

We're better manipulators

We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch

We always have food in the fridge

We don't worry about losing our hair

We always get to choose the movie

We dont have to mow the lawn

We dont have to take out the garbage

We dont have to paint the house or walls

PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men

Cosmopolitan

We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole

Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold

PMS is a legal defense for murder

Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever

We can masturbate more in a day than men

2 words- multi orgasmic

We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals

Sweat is sexy on us

We never run out of excuses

You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often

Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too

We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back

We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often

We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner

Women are cleaner

Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know)

We're better arguers

We dont always have to think with our genitals

Massage!!!!

We're better parents

We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night

There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men

We're flexible

When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can

Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50

Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex

Men in uniform

There is no penis envy

We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up

It generally takes us less to get drunk

We have a higher tolerance to pain

We often get to cut in line

Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT

Better tips

Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting

We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public

Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!

We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want

We dont have excessive amounts of body hair

We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet

Men will pay us for sex

Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile

We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return

Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want

Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us

Women sweat less

Women smell better

When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all

Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats

Women dont get the humor in the three stooges

Women have three accessible holes

We don't get embarassed when buying tampons

We're better gossips

We have better fashion sense

We're better shoppers

We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man

Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone

Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)

We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage

We dont have to drive when on a date

An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked

Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line

Women know how fake it

Women look better naked

We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing

When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short

Women do less time for violent crime

Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up

An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night

Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"

Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood

Women never have to see combat

The remote control is not an extension of ourselves

Women are sexier

We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it![/list=1]