Mayonnaise is my favorite thing in the world. I'll make a piece of toast and put mayo on it. I put it on pizza crust once I've eaten the pizza part. I put it on burgers and fries and hot dogs (with a little ketchup and mustard). I love it. So, I was looking for something online the other day and I found a recipe for my favorite condiment. This answers so many questions.
Beat egg or egg yolks with a rotary beater until slightly thick; add 1 teaspoon oil at a time beating well after each addition, until 1/3 cup has been added. Add a few drops lemon or vinegar. The mixture should be quite thick and perfectly smooth. If it isn't you added the oil too quick or didn't beat it enough. Continue to add the oil and acid alternately until it's used up. Add seasonings to taste. Store covered in the refrigerator. 
Why I am the way I am
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