How many kids is too many?

[Rochard]

I disagree with Panky. I have one kid and I see the amount of time, effort, support, and finances that goes into it. We are friends with a couple that have three kids and they are pulling their hair out - They are constantly running their kids from one event to another. Once a week they'll call me up to ask if one of their kids is with me because they have no idea where their youngest child is. With both of them working full time it's become difficult to keep track of where the kids are, no less making the time to spend with them.

This woman..... Is a nutcase. She's single and all of the other kids have different fathers. She just went through a bankruptcy last year and lives with her mother. When you have some sixteen kids you need a large house, and Grandma's house isn't going to cut it. What are they going to do? Live four or five to a room? That's no way to raise a kid. Not to mention there are seven fathers out there that are most likely getting soaked for child support.

[Panky]

Originally Posted by Rochard

I disagree with Panky. I have one kid and I see the amount of time, effort, support, and finances that goes into it. We are friends with a couple that have three kids and they are pulling their hair out - They are constantly running their kids from one event to another. Once a week they'll call me up to ask if one of their kids is with me because they have no idea where their youngest child is. With both of them working full time it's become difficult to keep track of where the kids are, no less making the time to spend with them.

And as I said, "It's a matter of whether or not the family unit and the parents themselves are strong enough mentally, physically, and financially to care for the children they do have before they begin to add on to the family. "

If a couple is pulling their hair out trying to raise 3 kids, then it wouldn't be the smartest thing to do to try and bring one or more other children into the world at this stage in their life.

[LizAEBN]

I'm happily childfree - I never was much for children, even when I was one - but I am adamantly pro-choice.

To me, that simply means choice over all reproductive options - and if the woman/ family has the resources to care for the family s/he chooses, more power to them. Clearly, it's not always applied in the world in which we live - octuplet IVF woman being a case in point - but it is entirely possible to have a large family and support it lovingly without draining the resources of others (the Duggers were mentioned, the Gosselins from Jon and Kate + 8 , several bloggers I follow, and a former co-worker all seem to do remarkably well with 6+).

There are very few people I know in my "real" life that choose to have kids at all so I look at larger families as having my kids for me ;P