Tonda,
I have a 4 year old daughter and I certainly won't want her to dress as they dress today when she's 12 or so.
Will I like the fact that she will dress that way? No. But, I can't stop it.
I'm not going to impose a dress code on my child when her friends are dressing in the cool clothes. It might sound ridiculous, but acceptance is one of the most important things that we all encounter in our lives. I will do almost anything in my power to ensure that my children are accepted by their peers.
Social acceptance during the teen years is critical. Then we mature later and realize that we are being foolish by caving in to peer pressure.
Drugs, alcohol, etc? I won't encourage my children to do them, but they're going to anyways. As a parent, I'll tell them my experiences and hope that they learn something. Then they'll make the choices and stand by them much more firmly than if Mommy or Daddy said it wasn't right.
The most important thing I want them to learn is that if they are EVER in trouble, no matter what it is, their parents are there to help them.
I'd like to think that the influence and direction that her parents gave to her will guide my little daughter through life entirely unscathed, but I'm not that naive.
At that age, parental influence is at it's lowest point. We lose them for a few years to their friends and to school crap or what have you.
I only hope that when that phase is over, my child will come back to me and realize that the advice that I gave them, was indeed better than the advice she was receiving from outside sources.
You have to let them grow up. Kids are like people that way.
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